Where There’s Wine, There’s a Way!


Sorry Bees, but I just have to take a cathartic moment to let this shit out before I lose it.  Lucky, as I am writing this I have a glass on pinot grigio in my hand… that is def helping to soften the many blows.

It is true what they say, that bad things happen in threes.  And my three bad things happened to me this week, all while already under wedding planning stress.

1.)  AC Failure

My fiancée and I woke up Sunday morning, at the ungodly hour of 9am, sweating our asses off.  This is a common occurrence in the swampland that is my home of Florida; however we pay quite a high electric bill every month, in the form of our A/C for this not to happen.

Our thermostat was reading right around the lovely temperature of 83 degrees and would not go down no matter how hard I smashed that stupid ass button.  So my fiancée, being the manly man that he is, decided to get his tools and investigate – while I laid in bed with several fans blowing on me, trying desperately to fall back asleep.

Finally, I was drifting back into a peacefully slumber… when the power goes off and with it all of my sanity.  After a lot of “what the fucks?!” and “my life fucking sucks” my fiancée was able to explain to me that he had cut the power in order to play “Bob the Builder”.  Several trips to the hardware store and many failed attempts later, it turned out that “Bob the Builder” cannot fix everything.

After calling around place after place, we soon realized that no one will fucking help you on a Sunday! And if they do you will be paying at least double of the normal cost. So we decided to leave this shit until Monday and thank the lord above that we have a pool.

2.) Refrigerator

So we’re still on Sunday, and I decide to hit up Target and the grocery store to stock up for the week. I get back home, load everything up, and we’re good to go. My fiancée goes to grab something out of the fridge and realizes that it’s not cold… ??? WTF?!

Our refrigerator light and temperature gage were up and running but the temp kept creeping down down down. Again, I tried aimlessly to push buttons as hard as my weakly arms could push, to no avail.

We had to go get coolers and ice to store all of the groceries that I had just bought. FML.

“Bob” fucked with the fridge, like he had the A/C, but nothing. And yet again, we could get no one to help us on a Sunday.

When Monday finally rolled around we hired some people to come surveil the damage of both the A/C and fridge. Turns out, people charge you just for coming to inspect something… even if they can’t fix it. Oh the joys of being a homeowner. Neither item was salvageable and both needed to be replaced which was going to cost a pretty penny. The earliest someone could replace our A/C was Friday…. We were still on Monday… in Florida! And we were having record highs for April… high 90s!

3.) Car

Here’s where shit gets really good. While driving to work on the highway, over a 3 mile bridge, that is over the ocean – my car started shifting gears weird. I dunno, I know nothing about cars but I know that it was freaking me the fuck out. It felt like the car was going to turn off at any second if I tried to speed up.

Thank God I made it to work, back, and then straight to a mechanic – who told me it was a transmission problem. As previously stated, I know nothing about cars – but I know that a “transmission problem” means major dollar signs. They also told me it could take 3-4 days to be fixed. Awesome.

The one positive thing (or so I thought) about dropping off my car at this particular mechanic was that there was a place to rent a car right across the street. Well fuck me for having one moment of positivity, because apparently you cannot rent a car with a debit card. If you’re using a debit card, as opposed to a credit card, you have to have a utility bill and a pay stub – neither of which I had.  I mean who has that shit?  It’s all online assholes.  Is this common knowledge? Am I that fucking naïve for not knowing this? I was on this company’s website all day researching and nowhere on there did I find such a policy.

My fiancée had to come pick me up but also right around this time my phone died. So after about 45 minutes of sitting at the rent a car place, I started to panic. I already have consuming anxiety but this was pushing me over the edge and all that was entering my mind was sick thoughts. Of course, with our lovely luck, he had gotten lost. By the time he finally got to me, I was literally in tears.

The Clouds Clear

The following morning I had an Uber come pick me up and take me to work, which was actually quite relaxing. I did my make up in the back and even took a small nap – self-driving cars cannot get here soon enough. I arranged to pick up a rental car after work and they had someone taxi me from work to their location. I was able to print their necessary documents at work and hence able to pay for said rental car with my debit card.

Now here we are on Friday: Our new A/C has been installed and is so far working, although they delivered a dented “new” model to us (Hey, you can’t win them all). My car is still in the shop, although the prognosis doesn’t seem as terrible as originally thought and I have my back up rental. And honesty, life has not been that terrible without a refrigerator. We eat out or order in a lot normally and have continued to do so, I have a separate wine cooler to chill my pinot, and my fiancée has been using a makeshift cooler to store his beer.

Moral of the story – this week sucked major ass and is draining all of our wedding funds but pinot and cheap beer can solve all of life’s terrible problems. Where there’s wine, there’s a way. That is my new motto. Happy drinking!

Thanks for listening to my rant Bees! Have any of these terrible things ever happened to you? (I hope not!) Are you having a shitty week that you need to vent about? Or is something great happening that you can share to cheer us all up?!

Let me know in the comments below!


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