Crying Shame – Episode 13
Were the dramatics at the beginning of this episode really necessary, Bravo editors? It was a decent fight but not any sort of epic battle that needed to be shown in bits and pieces while fading in and out and then teased until the last 10 minutes of the episode. And now I’m thinking that this will be the last big argument of the season because why did they make it such a big deal when it was about a 4 on the Housewives’ Richter scale?
Beast?! How Dare You!
Erika and Lisa Rinna are out to lunch and meet up with Eileen! It was actually excited to see her but the charm quickly wore off. Although, I sure do miss her soap opera facial expressions. She fills us in her kids – in college, finishing college, high school, blah blah blah. But when she asks how Erika and Rinna are with the other ladies, she’s shocked by their response. They both explain that they are surprisingly ok with Dorit but don’t really get into details. And you know, Eileen needs a full breakdown discussion of any sort of issue before she’s able to move on.
But the girls don’t really have an explanation and Eileen is perplexed by this. She tilts her head back and forth at them like a puppy dog who hears a high-pitched noise. And Erika and Rinna both just kinda shrug it off. Erika offers this tidbit, “It’s weird that it isn’t weird”. They’re basically trying to get it through Eileen’s head that they have to get over things and move on for the purpose of the show.
Digging Up The Past
Rinna is finally getting involved in this episode in a major way. She’s going everywhere and meeting everyone and it’s about damn time. She’s been very M.I.A this season, unless she’s forcing her wannabe daughters on us. She meets with Teddi for manicures and explains how she went out to dinner with Dorit. And it must’ve been a pretty boring dinner, because even though it was filmed, only a small flashback of them hugging is shown.
Teddi thinks that Dorit is fake fake fake and knows all the crap she’s been talking behind Rinna’s back. So she tells her about some of the shit talking Dorit was doing when she had Teddi over for dinner…. months ago. I see where Teddi is coming from and why she felt it necessary to tell Rinna all of this – but it does make her look like a major shit stirrer. That was how Dorit felt about Rinna back then, but since then they’ve hung out many times and maybe Dorit no longer thinks those things. But now all of the negative feelings and comments are resurfacing – thanks to Teddi.
Filler in the Faces
And then there’s the usual filler that every single episode this season has undeniably had. Kyle is stressing over remodeling her house but also finding a new house that she’s totally in love with. Wow, such a stressful problem. How does Kyle do it? Erika Jayne has a photo shoot for her book that nobody will be buying after this episode. And Dorit visits her sweat shop for her swimwear line as the team begins to implement all of PK’s genius ideas.
The Haunted Mansion
Dorit treks out to Erika’s Pasadena mansion that hasn’t been updated since it was built and is decorated like a grandma house… or in this case grandpa Girardi. Erika has put out quite the spread, not that Dorit will eat any of it, and serves champagne in a proper glass which thrills Dorit. Erika talks about her book, Dorit talks about her swim line and the editors flashback again, for the second time this episode, to PK renaming the swim line. We get it – there’s a new name. Dorit starts gossiping about Teddi and how Teddi has accused Dorit of talking in circles when Teddi does the exact same thing. Erika hasn’t been on the Teddi wagon this whole season and is pretty much just going along with what Dorit’s saying. Dorit admits that she does get jealous when LVP gives all of her attention to Teddi which disgusts Erika. Erika looks at neediness as a sign of weakness and wants Dorit to be more independent.
Pump It Up
Meanwhile, this scene is being crosscut with LVP and Teddi meeting at Pump. They are even starting to wear their hair the same – Teddi with a side fishtail braid and LVP with a pulled back braid. LVP is still laughing about the “green glass” joke she played on Dorit – yes yes Lisa, very clever. Teddi still doesn’t understand why Dorit is upset with her for repeating what she had said about LVP. Duh, it’s because Dorit doesn’t want to be accountable for her words so she’s making it sound like Teddi exaggerated and riled LVP up. This really is going around and around and sometimes it’s difficult to remember what they’re even talking about. Time to drop it ladies.
And Back To The Dramatic Scene
But of course, on this franchise nothing is easily dropped. These ladies take the pettiest drama and drag it out for months. Rinna has arranged for all of the ladies to get together for drinks and Teddi wants to ride with Dorit. Everyone arrives at the restaurant and Dorit immediately brings up her and Teddi’s conversation in the car that Teddi wanted to remain private. Teddi fessed up to Dorit that she had told Rinna about what Dorit had said about her at their dinner… which again, was months ago. So I can see why Dorit is caught off guard by this. Why is Teddi choosing to bring this up now? Teddi’s reasoning is that she hasn’t had a chance to talk to Rinna about it and in this case, Rinna specifically brought up her relationship with Dorit. But Rinna is not offended by Dorit or PK’s comments because they’re in a good place now and they’ve said much worse things in the past. Ok great – let’s move on.
But no, Dorit wants to understand why Teddi keeps running around telling everyone what she’s said about them. Teddi’s argument is that Dorit shouldn’t be saying those things in the first place. Both are valid points, no one likes a tattletale (Teddi) but no one likes a shit talker either (Dorit). Erika jumps in at some point to defend Dorit because the conversation has shifted to the dinner when Dorit talked about LVP being needy and jealous. Rinna and Erika didn’t think what Dorit said was that bad but Camille and Teddi did think that it would hurt LVP. Teddi tries to explain for the umpteenth time, “No one said that you were bashing her Dorit, but it would’ve hurt her feelings. And Erika even agreed with me in the moment.” But Erika doesn’t see it that way, “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.” Teddi thinks that Erika is just backpedaling and has a case of “pretend amnesia.”
And this triggers Erika Jayne who goes into full blown demonic Hong Kong mode. Her voice gets stern, low, and crazy sounding as she repeats herself over and over like a broken string doll, “Don’t do that to me. Don’t you ever do that to me!” Ahhh she’s possessed! Vanderpump tries to calm Erika down but once she’s in that place, there’s no coming back. Teddi sees how upset she’s made Erika and apologizes right away but Erika talks over her and says that Teddi has basically called her a liar.
Everyone gets up to leave and Teddi walks off ahead of everyone because she’s started to cry. LVP chases after her and Dorit is about to as well before Erika comes out and demands, “Dorit, leave it.” Wow – harsh Erika. She sure is cold and that’s not diamonds, it’s ice. In her interviews she blatantly says that she will not be apologizing and that Teddi is a crybaby. But Teddi seems genuinely upset and embarrassed by how Erika treated her. It’s not so much the words Erika said, but her aggressive, scolding tone would upset anyone. That shit is scary! Not only did Erika just fall from grace as the fan favorite by looking like a mean girl, but she also probably pushed a lot of viewers into liking Teddi because we can’t resist embracing the victim.
Next week Rinna’s mom is in town and has a fun and silly lunch with all of the ladies. Kyle has a séance with her medium lady who’s been on this show a million times. Apparently, Erika was a poor boy living on a ship in a previous life? Don’t know, don’t care. But the point of this séance is that all the ladies are forced together into awkward conversation with each other. Hopefully Erika will apologize to Teddi but I don’t see that happening. It’s about time for a girl’s trip to liven thing up. These ladies are sooo boring when they’re off filming their one-on-one scenes.