Thank You, Thuck You – Episode 11
This entire episode was again dragging on this stupid fight between LVP, Kyle, and Dorit. Last week I was into it but this week I was bored of it. They’re just going around and around in circles when they should be chalking it up to a drunken fight and moving on. But at least everything is sort of resolved by the end so hopefully this will be the last time we hear about it. Wishful thinking.
Fashion in the City
The ladies are still in New York and pile into the bus to go to Camille’s daughter’s fashion show. The bus ride was super tense and awkward and no one was speaking – except Rinna who was talking to herself. Everyone is particularly shocked and uncomfortable about Dorit’s silence. It’s so out of character for her to stay quiet that I was starting to think it was physically impossible for her to shut that trap.
Camille’s daughter, Mason, hasn’t appeared on the show since she was a child and now she’s walking in fashion week – like all the rest of them. She is beautiful and quiet, but unfortunately has more of her dad’s looks. She walks the runway wearing three separate looks but the last one was truly amazing.
Glam Squad Overload
The ladies head back to their hotel rooms where everyone has a glam squad waiting for them. Kyle and Rinna are talking while she has her hair and makeup people fluttering about. Kyle’s doing a fake long bob look and even half way complete, it looks a lot better than that long, heavy hair. She needs to cut it off for real! It ages her. She’s still upset about LVP and venting to Rinna about LVP offering to get into a cab with Dorit. Is that really what Kyle is so pissed about? God get over it, this is stupid! But Kyle feels that she always takes LVP’s side and doesn’t feel that it’s reciprocated back.
Um hello? When did you take her side during the Adriene Maloof situation? Her and Mauricio were disgustingly on Adriene’s side even though she was acting like a mental case witch, all because Maurice was selling their house. And that is where the original riff between Kyle and LVP started.
In another hotel room, LVP and Dorit are speaking. LVP finally confronts Dorit about talking behind her back and calling her needy and insecure. But LVP is way too easy on her and Dorit wiggles her way out of it again! “What I meant was that you are needy of my friendship. But I’m that way too! I’m needy of your friendship and what’s wrong with that? I would never say anything that would make you not want to be friends with me. And everything that I said, Kyle said 10-fold.”
But LVP’s not buying it because even if that’s true, it doesn’t make what Dorit said any better. LVP basically tells Dorit that she’s only friends with her out of loyalty to PK but backs it up real quick when Dorit gets upset. Instead, she changes it to “I met you because of PK and now I’ve grown to love you.” Dorit says that she’d never say anything hurtful about LVP. Well, she already has – and LVP doesn’t forget.
Faux Fur, Kaftans, and Bethenny
Kyle’s store is having a party to promote faux fur and kaftans – so random. The B is back! And this time she’s not on some lame real estate show. She’s here to battle LVP on Kyle’s behalf. Skinny Margarita vs Pump-tini. Bethenny can out argue anyone because she talks super-fast and doesn’t stop. She will just keep talking and talking at an immortal speed rate until she’s exhausted you. LVP thanks Kyle for defending her but says that she didn’t want Dorit to go home alone. And Bethenny immediately chimes in before Kyle can speak. “So it was a thank you/f**k you. A thuck you. Did you get that? Thank you and f**k you mashed together equals thuck you. Thuck you. Thought of that myself. Hilarious right?” Yes Bethenny, we all remember you making that up at last season’s reunion. I’m surprised she hasn’t trademarked the phrase by now.
LVP is trying to be tough and stand her ground but she’s coming off a lot more confident in her interviews then when she’s face to face with Bethenny. She accuses Bethenny of giving her a weird look which doesn’t really go anywhere. “Look? Look? What look? This is just how my face looks ok. That’s like calling me pretty and then saying I’m making a weird face. Know what that’s called? A thank you/f**k you – a thuck you.”
Bethenny asks which friend LVP likes better Kyle or Dorit? LVP doesn’t respond but immediately goes to Kyle’s side and grabs her. Bethenny think that LVP and Dorit might have a special bond because they’re both British. LVP thinks that Bethenny knows that’s not true and is trying to be a smart ass and start shit. But Bethenny maintains that she really thought Dorit was British. And she takes it as LVP calling her a liar. “I’m not a liar. Don’t come into my house and call me a liar. You might be that way in Beverly Hills but not in my house. Oh no she didn’t!” Ughhhh! Why has she been saying that the past few seasons? “Oh no you didn’t!” Is this the 90s?! Is she trying to replace Heather and her “Holla” catchphrase? It’s not working.
LVP does start to apologize to Kyle but she makes a classic housewives mistake. “I’m sorry if you were upset.” Bethenny and Kyle both call her on it. Just stop saying “if”. Maybe try “I’m sorry that you were upset because of what I did.” Either way, Bethenny is bored of these nitwits and wanders off. She probably sees Sonja and LuAnn drunk and making out with randoms in a corner and knows that will be far more entertaining.
And then there’s a scene all about the red faux fur jacket. LVP loves this red jacket and she sets it down to go and pay for it. But then Dorit, unknowingly, grabs the same coat and falls in love with it. I thought there’d be a cute little scene of them fighting over it or LVP secretly stealing it back but it kinda fell flat. LVP pays for the coat, the salesperson grabs it, and Dorit forgets all about it. But what is kind of funny is that amidst all the red coat hijinks, Dorit and Kyle are trying to have a serious conversation. There go around in circles before basically deciding to get over it but now they don’t trust each other as much.
Finally, back in Beverly Hills, Teddi visits LVP for some tea. Teddi has been a little boring to me, but she really tells it like it is and picks up on things. She tells LVP that Dorit lacks ownership when she says things out of turn and if she just admitted to it right away it would cause less drama. She also says that she’s never heard Kyle say anything bad about the other ladies, but Dorit has. She’s really putting the nail in Dorit’s coffin.
LVP is finally realizing that she should always side with Kyle and not dumb-dumb Dorit. And then Teddi breaks down Kyle’s anger by explaining that she felt abandoned by LVP after just sticking up for her. Teddi pushes LVP to apologize to Kyle and even gives her a few lines. But LVP makes a stink face like apologizing would be the most terrible thing in the world.
But Lisa does meet up with Kyle to hopefully put this whole situation to bed. She explains to Kyle that there’s a lot at stake with her friendship with Dorit because of PK. But Kyle wants to know if there’s a lot at stake with their friendship. Lisa says yes, but really, she knows she can take advantage of her and Kyle’s friendship and Kyle will always still be there – because of the show. Kyle explains that Lisa has a different standard for their relationship but Lisa says that same thing back to her. Kyle would let Rinna get away with comments that she wouldn’t like coming from LVP.
But then Lisa turns it into a positive thing by saying that their relationship is different because they’ve been friends for so long and are closer. She says that it means more and talking badly about each other also affect them more negatively because of that closeness. I get that – if your best and closest friend betrayed you it would be the most hurtful thing in the world. But if some acquaintance did the same, it’d be easier to brush off. And then a miracle happens: LVP genuinely apologizes to Kyle. She says that she’s sorry for neglecting Kyle when she was upset. Halleluiah! The ladies clink glasses, give a little side eye, and move on!
Next week is LVP’s 90th birthday and all the ladies gather to celebrate. Camille has a dirty present for Dorit that will finally get her to shut up. Totally a ball gag, right? Dorit goes way over the top attempting to apologize to LVP by climbing on her and acting silly. LVP sees right through it and knows that Dorit is not taking the situation seriously. So she does what Lisa does – engages the passive aggression. This is why Kyle didn’t need to be upset this whole time. She knows that Lisa doesn’t scream and fight with people, she slowly plays mind games on them and tortures them. And that’s what she’s doing to Dorit. Did we really think LVP would let that little trash talker get off that easy?