The Big Apple Bites – Episode 10
This entire episode was one long discussion about the same thing, yet somehow nothing was resolved. I think everyone did come to the conclusion that Dorit needs to stfu… everyone but Dorit that is. I was going crazy by the end of this episode listening to them have the same conversation over and over but not get anywhere. This really is the pettiest franchise of them all but at least something, anything, is finally happening.
Beating Around the Park Bush
Dorit and LVP take a walk in the park and Dorit tries to explain to Lisa what she had said about her the night before. But Dorit doesn’t come straight out and say, “Look, I had to much champagne and was running my mouth about you last night. I said some things that crossed the line such as A, B, and C and I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” Instead she goes around and around in circles and never really gets to the point. God Dorit spit it out already! It was really frustrating to watch and LVP looked particularly exasperated. Dorit finally admits that she said that LVP has said she feels ignored by Dorit at times. This is the perfect time for grim reaper LVP to whip out her black umbrella and stare Dorit down. “And?… Was there anything else said? Now’s your chance.”
Dorit says that she and Kyle were also talking about LVP the night that she stormed out of the restaurant. “I may have said something along the lines of you needing attention due to not getting attention from your parents.” LVP seems a little more aggravated by this and tells Dorit that there was plenty of shit talking LVP could’ve done about her last season but she didn’t. That’s a veiled threat from Lisa – I didn’t talk shit about you last season, but I still can this season. But all in all, LVP took the whole thing rather well, but that’s mainly because Dorit sugar coated her story and held back on some of her harsher comments.
New York Minute
Then there’s a bit of boring running around and glamming. Erika Jayne meets with the same book people that Teresa uses and she keeps her sunglasses on the entire time. She looked completely ridiculous and total diva wannabe. Dorit is super nervous about the party in her honor for being on the cover of some low rent magazine. And Rinna is still pushing her “model” daughters on us in every single scene. It’s really starting to backfire on her – major overexposure. I used to love her daughters but now I can’t stand their bratty, entitles, ways.
The Truth Hurts
LVP and Kyle are getting ready together and they discuss Lisa’s conversation with Dorit. Kyle knows that Dorit didn’t tell Lisa the whole story and is more than happy to fill in the blanks. She tells LVP that Camille and Teddi told her that Dorit was talking some crap the previous night, saying that LVP is jealous, needy, and insecure. LVP is shocked by this and thinks that the ladies twisted it somehow. Kyle also slips in there that both she and Dorit were hurt and confused the night LVP stormed out and they both said things that they didn’t mean. That’s how you do it Dorit – straight to the damn point.
Mag Cover Fame
The ladies all attend the party for Dorit’s magazine cover and Kyle finally has some alone time with Erika. She explains that the whole situation about Erika at the beach house was blown way out of proportion and was never that big of a deal. She wants to make sure that Erika knows that there was no ill intent behind it and that Kyle was not the leader in some attack against Erika. “I didn’t spearhead this whole thing and there was nothing malicious about it.” And Erika accepts it, no problem.
Lisa grills Teddi about what was said by Dorit at their dinner. Teddi confirms Lisa’s biggest fears – Dorit did in fact betray LVP. And Lisa still looks like she doesn’t want to believe it. What are you waiting for Lisa? Destroy that bitch!
Just Let Them Get Drunk!
After the party all of the ladies head out for dinner and they’re all already a little buzzed. So they decide to get drunk and have a party night. Even Lisa Rinna was down for getting drunk on camera and I was ready for it! But then Kyle has to go a ruin it all by being the biggest buzzkill ever! She decides that now is the perfect time to address her issues with Dorit when it’s Dorit’s special night and everyone is not of clear minds.
She wants to know why Dorit singled Kyle out with the beach house drama when everyone was talking about it. Dorit says that Kyle was very outspoken that night but Kyle pushes back. Dorit never really provides a straight answer to Kyle but Erika is over it so who cares? She keeps trying to get them to stop talking about it so the group can have fun. LVP is sitting silently in the corner because she understands that it’s the wrong time and place for this conversation.
Kyle sees that LVP is staying quiet and decides to fight on her behalf. She calls out Dorit for talking about Lisa to the other girls at last night’s dinner. Dorit feigns innocence and can’t seem to recall the words that she used. Teddi confirms to Dorit that she did call Lisa jealous and Lisa is now realizing that Dorit wasn’t completely honest with her at the park. It’s like if a criminal confessed to robbing a store but omits that part when they punched the cashier in the face. But instead of coming clean, apologizing, and squashing it, Dorit turns her aggression to Teddi. She sputters to Teddi, “I’m not one of your accountability people.” All of the other ladies let out a collective, “Oooohh.” That is quite obvious Dorit, you are the least accountable person on this cast. She must be trying for unaccountability levels that Teresa Guidice and Vicki Gunvalson have reached.
Rinna doesn’t really understand what’s going on and keeps trying to interject to no avail. She burst into drunken giggles and almost flashed her ass. I need more of this Rinna. Kyle moves next to Dorit and really goes off now. She is too drunk and too emotional to be having this discussion! She says that she was f***ked over by Dorit and doesn’t understand why Dorit’s been talking about her and LVP.
The other ladies are frustrated with how the night has gone and see that this is going nowhere so they start to leave. Kyle tries again to reason with Dorit but Dorit is over it and just wants to get out of there. She says she’s going to take a cab rather than ride back in the bus with the other ladies. LVP says that she’ll go with Dorit in the cab and this infuriates Kyle who feels that LVP is now taking Dorit’s side. Ay-yi-yi will this ever end?!
Erika tries to again referee the ladies and convinces them all to get on the bus. Kyle is now in tears about LVP seemingly picking Dorit over her. When LVP sees her crying, she rushes over to comfort her. But Kyle is too far gone and pissed off to be coddled. She keeps repeating, “Leave me alone. Leave me the f**k alone.” Yikes!
And it continues on once the ladies get to the hotel. Kyle is still crying and says that Lisa doesn’t appreciate their 10-year long friendship. She thinks that if she said any of the things that Dorit said, LVP would freeze her out of her life. And that is probably true. LVP is harder on Kyle and has cut her out for less. LVP grabs Kyle’s head and cradles it in her arms while repeating, “I love you.” She nearly chokes Kyle who tries to remove herself from Lisa’s clutches several times before finally yelling, “Get off! I can’t breathe!” LVP wants to show emotion and tries her hardest to squeeze out some tears. “I had a bad night too! People are sitting around talking about me being insecure, jealous, needy. I don’t want to hate Dorit.”
It must be her loyalty to PK that is restraining Lisa from destroying Dorit. There’s no really any resolution (as there rarely is with booze induced cat fights) and LVP decides to remove herself. This needs to be pawned off as a drunken debacle and forgotten about, but I’m sure it will be dragged out for episodes to come.
The ladies are all together and still in New York next week which is great because that’s when the drama happens. LVP comes out and admits to Dorit that she maintains her friendship with her because of her loyalty to PK. I knew it! And Kyle calls in the big guns to assist with her fight against LVP: Bethenny “Oh no you didn’t” Frankel. OMG yes! Head housewives of their perspective franchises come together to battle it out. East vs West, Skinny Girl Margarita vs Pump-tini, rich bitch vs even richer bitch. I hope it lives up to the hype!