Vanderpump Rules

Vanderpump Rules Episode 6 Recap

See You Next Tuesday – Episode 6

This episode’s MVP was DJ James Kennedy.  He was bringing the humor- the likes of which we haven’t seen since his amazing performance at last year’s reunion.  The beginning of the episode was full of drama and fighting but also with James Kennedy going above and beyond to entertain.  It’s getting more difficult for me to determine what’s real and what is for the cameras – especially when it comes to everyone’s relationships.  Would these girls stand by their men if this all wasn’t on TV?  Then again, the fact that it’s all on TV should give them more of a reason to leave – because you look f-ing stupid! 

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Housewarming Hell

The episode picks back up at the housewarming party and man does this shit get good.  The viewers still don’t get to hear the audio but Brittany tries to make the whole party listen.  Jax isn’t even sure what’s going on but hightails it out of there with his sidekicks, the Toms, close behind him.  But not before Sandoval tries to stop the girls from hearing the recording and they all yell at him to get away.   

party 1

The Witches of We-Ho are in full blown bitch mode and Lord help the fool who gets in their way.  And James Kennedy is just that fool.  First, Stassi starts screaming at him and he yells back.  But then he says something to piss off an already irate Brittany and she Hulks out on his ass.  James is about to get eaten alive by a pack of wild dogs and literally runs down the hallway and out the door.  Run little boy, run.  It was so f-ing hilarious! 

According to the girls, Jax was saying vile things in the recording about never wanting to marry or have kids with Brittany, he’s not attracted to her sexually, and Faith is the best sex he’s had.  What a disgusting pig.  But down the hall at Katie and Schwartz’s apartment the guys are rallying around Jax and are upset with the girls!  There’s another great moment of comic relief when Jax throws a phone and Schwartz freaks out thinking that it’s his.  “Wait… Is that my phone?… I need that.”  This show is fantastic – only 5 minutes in and I’ve been totally grossed out, felt extreme sympathy, and then laughed my ass off. 

phone

Ariana and her unlikely companion, Kristen, come in to confront the guys.  But somehow, everything gets turned on them and Ariana is the one defending herself.  Sandoval is on Jax’s side and is upset with Ariana for playing the recording and starting trouble.  Are these dudes serious?  How about being pissed at Jax for saying those things in the first place.  Misogyny much?  Ariana and Tom drunkenly scream it out.  Ariana shouts “It’s not on my phone!” multiple times, while Kristen looks on with delight, before the pair storm out. 

party 4

Turn Up Tuesday Rebranded

James visits Lisa to discuss him upcoming DJ gig, which he has named “See You Next Tuesday”.  Classy.  James chirps like a bird and tells Lisa all about the drama at the housewarming party which includes an overly dramatic impersonation of Brittany after she found out the news.  He screams, “Whhhhhyyyyy?!!!” with his head rolled back in the air.  And he also does a spot-on impression of Jax huffing and puffing and sweating.  Thank you James Kennedy, you drunken little Brit, for being so extra yet so damn entertaining. 

why

Bagels and Bawls

The next morning Lala, Tom, and Ariana head over to Scheana’s for a group hang over breakfast.  Tom and Ariana start heatedly discussing last night’s situation in front of Lala and Scheana – cringe.  Tom’s issue is that the recording was played after everyone had been drinking literally all night long.  Now that makes a little more sense and he should have calmly explained that to her last night.

But then he goes on to lecture her about taking responsibility for her actions and says that he’s disappointed in her.  Alright high and might Sandoval – take it down a notch.  He goes on to berate her about never apologizing for anything in their relationship, which leads Ariana to scream, “Maybe we should just break the f**k up!”  So cringey and uncomfortable – and all in front of Lala and Scheana. 

brunch

More Dysfunction

On the other side of town, Kax and Brittany – couple that actually should break up, unfortunately does not.  Their apartment is a revolting mess – just like Jax.  He walks in and starts attacking Brittany right away for playing the recording for everyone else.  I cannot believe what I’m watching – he is totes gas lighting her!  She never gets to yell at him about what he said because he just keeps yelling at her to take responsibility for her actions.  Do him and Sandoval seriously share a brain?  He never apologizes to her for what he said in the recording, but he just keeps yelling at her for putting their business out to everyone and then storms out.  Omg so infuriating! 

jax

There’s a new hostess at Sur named Billy and she also happens to be the first trans character on VPR.  She and Lala are bonding and talking about hanging out, but this must’ve been an older scene that was pieced in because Billie was at the housewarming party.  So obvi she’s already been introduced into the group.  And that’s all we get of Billie but they’re laying the ground work for more moments in the future. 

billie

Double Date Boredom

Stassi and greasy Patrick go on a double date with Katie and Schwartz – could anything be less fun?  Stassi really needs to stop messing with her face – it’s starting to look really contorted and strange when she makes expressions.  And then there’s condescending Patrick with his oily face and greasy man bun – barf.

date 1

But Schwartz is completely infatuated and obsessed with Patrick, someone he sees as a success.  Schwartz tells his new idol all about his cheating and not remembering (stop bringing it up!) and then about the craziness at the housewarming party.  Stassi is afraid that Patrick will think less of her for the company she keeps.  Yea, because you’re so classy Stassi, puh-lease. 

date

White Kanye

DJ James Kennedy is back at Sur for his “See You Next Tuesday” event and literally the whole cast shows up to “support” him.  Wasn’t it just last season that Kristen and Jax were showing up to white Kanye’s gigs just to troll and harass him?  Tom and Ariana are both working behind the bar but not speaking to each other.  The people who don’t work here anymore seriously need to get iced out.  The dynamics are so much more interesting when everyone hates each other but still has to show up to work together. 

dj

Scheana confronts cast member wannabe, Jen, about the cheating allegations against Rob.  This is the same Jen who’s been trying to get on the show since season 1 but had to settle for being Stassi’s back up group of friends that came to Vegas for her birthday after she kicked out her first-tier friends.  Jen tells Scheana that her friend, who is also Rob’s ex, told her that they kissed.  Scheana explains Rob’s side of the story which is that he twirled her around and then kissed her on the cheek.  Jen says that the kiss was much more inappropriate for someone’s boyfriend to be doing with another girl.  And Scheana’s like, “Yea that’s basically the same thing that I just said.  So, it matches his story.  Ok, we’re good.”  Omg she is soooo delusional!  A kiss on the cheek and an inappropriate kiss are two completely different things you dumbass.  Talk about denial. 

jen

Tom and Ariana meet in the Sur alley to talk.  Tom finally gets Ariana’s point of view as she reiterates that it was not the right time to play the recording but she didn’t think about that because she was drunk too.  She was not thinking straight when she received the information so she reacted differently than normal.  It’s not like she had previously known about the recording and was waiting to expose it.  And they both apologize for being mad at each other which I thought was a weird apology.  How about apologizing for being mean to each other or for specific things you said?  I’m gonna try that on the hubby next time – sorry I was mad at you. 

alley

Run, Brittany Run!

Brittany calls her mother and says that she’s going to try to make it work with Jax.  This broad really thinks that Jax can change and this same exact thing won’t keep happening.  It will keep happening but maybe you won’t keep finding out about it… until you get the herp.  And Brittany’s mom is supportive instead of telling her to run her ass home.  What is wrong with the girls on this show?!  Thank God Ariana and Tom made up because they are the only non-dysfunctional couple in the group – that we know of. 

brit

Predictions

Next week is Pride, which is always a great episode and the group always gets day drunk – what else is new?  Lala and James have a dispute and Lala gets straight up gangster, like she does.  Stassi reveals to Brittany that Jax has never broken up with a girlfriend.  He’s also never been faithful to one either, which means he cheats when he wants them to break up with him.  And Brittany’s mom makes a surprise visit to hopefully talk some sense into her daughter.  I dunno, the whole thing is pretty anti-climactic considering we know that they’re still together.

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