Prisons, Proposals, and Parties – Episode 13 – Finale
Finally, we are putting this season out of its misery! I can’t watch Margaret and Siggy go around and around while everyone watches on the sidelines anymore. Even Danielle was not enough to save this season. Although I’m sure she definitely toned down her crazy and hopefully will be her stripper, gangster wannabe self if she returns next season. I mean if Danielle can’t shake things up, who can? New Jersey has been on the decline since that terrible season with the twins and Jim Marchese.
The Guidice girls have planned a surprise birthday party for Teresa after Zio Joe lectured them for being disrespectful little brats. Everyone hides except for Nono who continues cooking because no one tells Nono what to do. Man, what I would give to have one of his meals – they look amazing every time. The girls (and Melissa, front and center) pop out to surprise Teresa and she loves it. They all wrote special notes and read them outload to Teresa. That little Audriana is so precious and sweet and cuddly – I can’t stand it!
Then there’s a lot of filler scenes and they’re all pretty boring. Margaret tries on the dress for her party and discusses Siggy with Danielle. Will Siggy come to the party? Will she not come to the party? If she does come, will she behave? Siggy and her son, Josh, are getting a tux for his prom and he’s decided on a college that’s only 3 hours away. Dolores and the Franks go bowling and again discuss their unconventional relationship and why it works so well. If you guys aren’t going to get back together then please drop this storyline.
And finally, Margaret sees the design renderings for her great room and it is truly hideous and shocking. There’s a lot of green – and not like forest green or light accent green, just traffic light green. And the couches are leopard print! I know this is Jersey, but that is just taking things too far. And to add a bit of class to the place, the designer added a marble bar. My eyes will never be the same but Margaret really loved it so whatevs.
Teresa is finally visiting Joe with Milania and Audriana after a looooong 7 months. She hasn’t seen him since her mom died and was actually on her way to see him when she got the call that she was in the hospital and had to turn around. So heartbreaking. She wants an apology from Joe and damnit she deserves one!
Of course, we don’t get to see any footage from inside the jail and don’t get to see if Juicy Joe has thinned out at all. But Teresa recounts her visit to Melissa and Joe who are at this weird glass gallery/store. Margaret requested her gifts be purchased here and some stuff was pretty – like the geode coasters – but there were also some really weird pieces – like a giant class nose. Melissa and Joe had previously been discussing Teresa and they both are thinking that if Teresa doesn’t get an apology from Joe, she’s gonna walk.
Teresa explains that she was nervous to see Joe but not resentful. I don’t think she knows what resentful means. All season she’s been saying things about missing out with her mom and being bitter with Joe – that’s being resentful Teresa. Apparently, she gave him the business and demanded an apology, not only for her but for their girls. Joe said that he has been apologizing in his letters but thankfully, he does also apologize to Teresa in person. Teresa tells Melissa and Joe that Juicy has a lot of making up to do when he comes home. But will they still be together by then?
Prom – Is This The Proposal Part?
Another filler scene before the Fabulous 50 party: Siggy’s son going to prom. Of course, Siggy has to make it awkward and creepy and says that she wants to go to prom with him. “You came out of my cookie! I should be allowed to go to prom with you and we can slow dance and hold hands all night long. Josh-u-a!” Josh’s girlfriend shows up in a wannabe bridal dress but Jersey style. I was worried she was gonna pull a Tara Reid and have a nip slip – that dress was so low-cut!
Everyone is getting ready for Margaret’s Studio 54 themed birthday party. Margaret has “exhausea” which I’m assuming is a combination of exhaustion and nausea – brilliant. All the ladies show up looking very glam and very disco. There was lots of sparkle and jumpsuits. Dolores looks insane and not in a good way in this huge, Diana Ross wig. And in typical fashion, her date is Frank and not her boyfriend – he must really not want to be filmed.
Margaret has already been walking around her party and greeting her guests but then runs off to make a grand entrance. Shouldn’t you do that at the start of the party before anyone sees you? The whole entrance was super strange. There was a giant plastic horse that Margaret sat on sideways and then a bunch of glam men pushed the horse about 10 feet and then Marg hopped off. It wasn’t exactly graceful or grand.
There’s also giant fishbowl shareable drinks being passed around and all I could think was gross! God help the poor schmuck who drinks out of the same straw as Danielle. Avoid communal drinks people – especially at a Jersey party.
Suddenly, everyone at the party starts staring at their phones and whispering around about rumors. It’s all very dramatic and then there’s a commercial break. The dramatics were not needed because the news was just that Siggy would not be coming to the party. She had been planning on coming and even got all ready but then fell down the stairs and had to go to the hospital. Danielle and Melissa are both skeptical and think that (to quote Kate Maloney Schwartz) it’s a pretty “convenient narrative” for Siggy to get out of this party. But Danelle is the only one messy enough to vocalize it in front of Dolores. Danielle thinks that this is typical Siggy and that she’s deflecting. Dolores calls Danielle a slob right to her face! And Danielle doesn’t react at all – who is this woman? Is she on some downers?
Siggy has been released from the hospital and is getting texts from Dolores about Danielle talking crap. So, she decides to make an appearance at the party and confront Danielle. I, like the rest of the ladies, was completely shocked that Siggy bothered to show up after she already had an out. Melissa fesses up right away to having some doubt about the situation instead of being a wimp and waiting for it to come out at the reunion.
But Siggy never confronts Danielle which was supposedly her whole reason for showing up. Instead she goes after her usual victim: Margaret. She straight up tells Margaret that she came to be with Dolores, Melissa, and Teresa and doesn’t really care about her. She also says that she doesn’t want to be Margaret’s friend which would be mean enough, let alone at someone’s birthday party. And rightfully so, Margaret asks the lunatic to leave. Siggy hobbles away with Dolores and Teresa in tow. And then in a moment of loyalty, Teresa gets in the car and leaves with Siggy to show her support.
Teresa thought she was being smart by siding with and leaving with Siggy. Last season Siggy was a fan favorite and at this point Teresa probably assumed that Siggy would be back next season. Teresa knows that it’s better to stick with a vet than to side with the disposable new girl. And I think Siggy thought that she was coming out on top all season long too and that the fans would still be on her side. But boy was she wrong. And I actually do wish that Siggy would come back next season to redeem herself because I really did enjoy her last season.
Unfortunately, she’s burned the Bravo bridges by going on interviews and tweet rampages about how the editors screwed her. And then she wrote a long letter criticizing the production company and calling it a “hostile work environment”. You don’t go against the family and you definitely don’t come at daddy.