Real Housewives of New Jersey

Real Housewives of New Jersey Episode 9 Recap

When Chairs Fly – Episode 9

It’s Posche Fashion Show night!!! The Posche Fashion Show is a RHONJ staple and is usually the best episode of the season.  I was a little disappointed with this showing though.  Teresa couldn’t pull out all of the stops like she normally would because she’s still on probation and can’t risk “going away” again.  And the whole thing only lasted the first 10 minutes of the show and then the rest was all boring filler.  Bravo has tricked me once again! 

Episode 8     Episode 7     Episode 6

POSCHE

Dolores and Siggy arrive at the location for the Posche show to prepare to walk and get their hair and make-up done.  But they both already have their hair done and a boat load of make up on so I don’t really understand why they’re arriving 5 hours prior to the show.  5 hours!  I didn’t even make my bridesmaids show up that early for my wedding!  Kim D enters looking more and more like Cruella De Vil every time she appears.  She is the Disney villain of Jersey.

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One of the hairdressers claims that she saw Teresa hanging all over some guy at the salon.  She and Kim D reenact the hugging/cuddling that she saw.  Dolores and Siggy immediately come to Teresa’s defense saying that it’s not true and that could just be a friend.  And really, maybe I’m giving her too much credit but I don’t think Teresa would be dumb enough to parade her affairs around town in public. 

prior

Teresa has already decided that she’s going to confront Kim D about spreading rumors about her and she’s dragging along Melissa, Danielle, and Margaret.  The ladies arrive at the show, stop and get a drink, and then head down to where Dolores and Siggy are practicing their walks while Kim D looks on.  Teresa enters the rooms first, followed by her cronies and Kim D looks genuinely shocked to see them.

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Teresa struts straight up to her and ask her why she’s been talking shit.  Kim’s only quip back is, “I feel like it.  If you don’t like it, too bad.”  She claims that her hairdressers have been seeing Teresa out at clubs.  Ok, what about it?  She just got out of jail, her husband went to jail, and her mother passed away.  Girl can’t go out with her friends for some drinks and dancing once in a while? 

fight 2

It turns into a screaming match with both ladies calling each other white trash.  “I’m white trash?  I’m not the one who went to jail sweetheart.  And you better stay away from me or those cuffs are going back on.”  After Kim D screamed that, Margaret got involved yelling at her to shut up.  Kim D bypasses pigtails and goes straight for Danielle wondering why she’s hanging out with Teresa when a few years ago Teresa was chasing her out of here.  But Teresa’s determined and will not let the focus turn from her and her issues with Kim D.  Someone probably wrote this for her but it was still great, “POSCHE stands for Piece of shit, coke whore, homewrecker every day.” 

fight

Kim D has had enough and gets up, pushes a chair very aggressively into Teresa, and walks away.  Teresa grabs the same chair and throws/flips it in one fluid motion.  She goes to grab for her glass filled with vodka and pineapple (barf!) and was so close to throwing it but doesn’t pick it up at the last second.  I’ve never seen Teresa have such self-control!  And Kim D is carried off like the delicate flower that she is.  Please. 

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Siggy and Dolores have been silently watching the activity the entire time.  With Kim D gone, everyone turns their attention to the two of them.  They are astounded and aggravated that both of the ladies are still going to walk in the show after all they just witnessed.  Dolores is sick of being told what to do and gets right up in Melissa’s face to say so.  Like whoa, Dolores take it down a notch.  There is no reason to be getting up in Melissa’s face.  Dolores is sticking to her “it’s for charity” story but I’m sorry, write a damn check and be done.  Teresa and her crew walk out but not before Teresa calls Siggy and Dolores Kim D’s puppets. 

fight 8

And that’s it for the Posche Fashion Show.  Dolores and Siggy walk and we don’t really need to see the anymore than that.  The rest of the ladies head back to Margaret’s house for drinks and to decompress.  They are still shocked by Dolores and Siggy’s actions and now everyone is nervous about the upcoming trip to Milan.  Dolores has had no problem blindly taking Siggy’s side even when Siggy is being ridiculous but now all of the sudden she wants to play Switzerland.  I’d be pissed if I were Teresa or Melissa too. 

after

Wise Word From the Hulk

Dolores and Siggy go out to lunch with big Frank where they recount the whole story to him.  God Frank’s neck is the size of my thighs!  He is disappointed that both of them stayed quiet and didn’t stick up for Tre.  “Don’t you get the message you were sending?  You should’ve let Tre know that you had her back.”  And from Frank’s wise voice to Dolores and Siggy’s defensive ears – they suddenly understand the errors of their ways.  All of the ladies have been telling them over and over but in typical Jersey fashion it takes a man’s opinion for them to finally listen. 

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Jersey Medium (Was Long Island Unavailable?)

Joe has hired a medium to come to the house and see if she can channel their mother.  The first time I watched this, I thought that the medium was pretty good but after watching it a second time I’m not so sure.  She tells Teresa that her mother is always around her and that one of her daughters is especially in tune with the other side.  Ok, so Melania has been saying things about seeing Nona but it still wasn’t very specific.

medium 2

But then she got me when she called out the song that Joe and his mother had danced to at his wedding.  This is when everyone really started to tear up and believe that Nona was present.  But the song, “Mama” song in Italian is I’m sure a very popular song in Jersey especially among Italians.  And she didn’t specifically say that song was played at his wedding, she just threw that song out there.  I don’t know, the point is that hopefully the whole experience brought Teresa and Joe some peace. 

medium

Dirty Double Date

Margaret is helping her mother prepare for a date with their accountant and orders Priv.  What is with every single housewife franchise promoting Priv?  Most recently, Kelly Dodd used Priv to give her mother a makeover and here we are again – pretty much the exact same scene.  And Priv only operates in New York and Los Angeles so serious wtf?

date

Marg senior and Marg junior go on a double date and it was weird and inappropriate on so many levels.  The sexual innuendos were too much for me.   Weird mother/daughter discussion and weird old lady discussion – just weird. 

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Siggy the Apologizer

Siggy goes over to Teresa’s house to clear the fashion show air.  It is always Siggy making the effort with Teresa (after cake gate), while Melissa gets ignored and Dolores doesn’t own up to anything.  Teresa asks Siggy how she would react if someone was saying that she was having an affair on Michael Campanella (she even says Campanella in the Siggy voice).  Siggy explains that she did defend Teresa to Kim D and attempted to shut it down.  Teresa says what we’ve all been thinking, “You could’ve went, given your check for the charity, and then gone – done.”

sig

But Siggy explains that the families of the deceased boys were there and she wanted to show them support.  She thought she would be letting them down if she didn’t walk.  And Teresa totally softens and understands the situation.  Siggy expresses her views about Danielle and Margaret being up Teresa’s ass and says she can’t talk to Tre when they’re around.  But Teresa is more concerned about Milan and Dolores making things right with Melissa. 

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Predictions

And next week is the Milan trip and also the first time all of the ladies have seen each other since the fashion show.  Things pop off – like seriously off at their dinner.  Siggy thinks that Margaret doesn’t like Jews because of her Hitler comment – which is not what she was saying with that comment.  Somehow, Danielle gets involves and does what Danielle does best – totally loses her shit.  Yassss!  This is why she was brought back – earn that paycheck honey!  She throws some stuff, starts tearing apart the table, and has to be dragged away while screaming, “Whore!” in a classic Jersey deep tough guy voice!  It looks amazing!!! 

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