The Champagne Campaign – Episode 14 – The Finale
This episode wrapped up loose ends as only the end of a charter season can. The guests had a great last night on the boat and it looks like the crew had fun participating as well. There were no drunken arguments, which was disappointing but it was the last night. And Kate shuts down her haters by turning everything back around on them which is a brilliant skill.
Run Along Little Boy
Kyle is pouring her feelings out to Kate and last week I thought she was being a little harsh on him, but now I see that his timing could not be worse. Kate is trying to prep for this huge theme party and dinner service and a serious emotional talk is the last thing she needs. Also, she knows it’s the last night and she’s prob not going to see Kyle again for a long time, if ever, so she’s not really invested in saving the friendship. Somehow, she turns it all around, gets Kyle to apologize, and then puts him to work. Genius.
The guests are lingering before dinner is the spot that Kate needs to get set up for the circus party. So, Nico takes them on a long and slow tour of the boat to distract them. Nico was bored out of his mind showing them the crew mess and cabins but the guests were fascinated with everything – even the laundry machines.
Meanwhile, Kate has the rest of the crew blowing up balloons and prepping the party room so it’s ready after dinner. She tells everyone to change while she does dinner service on her own. Seems simple enough but not for Jen. Everyone else is in costume and ready to go prior to dinner being over except for Jen. She is running around looking for make-up and Wi-Fi to Google mimes.
Kate cannot get ahold of her on the radio and while Kate is running around like a crazy person checking on everything, the dinner service is not happening. Chef Canada is getting frustrated and goes to clear the plates and serve the next course himself. There were just too many balls in the air at once – and then Jen.
After dinner Kate leads the guests to where the party is set up and where they have a great view of the fireworks she arranged. And then per Timothy’s request, everyone has a giant champagne fight. Basically, everyone just shakes the champagne bottles up and sprays them at each other. But Kate took it a step further and included whipped cream pies to throw at each other.
Kyle nails Timothy right in the face – oh what a great feeling that must’ve been. And the whole thing did actually look really fun – like a food fight for adults. But all I kept thinking was how messy and sticky the deck was going to be.
The next morning the guests are on their way but not without a speech from Timothy. Surprisingly, he almost gets through his entire monologue without being condescending to the crew or to Captain Lee. Right when I’m thinking that maybe this guy isn’t a super douche, he opens his mouth and says one of the douchiest things a man can say to a woman, “Smile more.” Ugggghhhh!!! Men stop telling us what to do with our faces! It is so rude and so uncomfortable – we are not performing circus animals!
Kate calls a meeting with the stews and it looks like it’s meant to be a fun little celebration of the season’s end – there’s even champs. But it gets dark quickly when Jen complains that it was like having two bosses all season long. Ok fair enough, now it’s Kate and Bri’s turn to vent their frustrations, “You’re always late.” One little criticism of Jen is all she needs to totally lose it. She gets super defensive, starts calling them out for things that they do, and keeps referring to Bri as “this one”. And before Kate or Bri have a chance to respond, Jen storms off like the two-year-old that she is.
Captain Lee calls the last tip meeting of the season. Before doling out the cash, Captain throws a blank envelope in Nico’s direction. It looks like a blank piece of paper at first but folded inside are more stripes. This time it was definitely clear that Nico indeed earned a promotion and now has the title of bosun.
And now for the tip – Timothy gave the crew a total of $30,000. Wow! That is crazy considering that it’s double of what most guests have been giving and Captain’s big goal for the season was 25k. But sorry Timothy, even 30k doesn’t give you the right to tell women to smile more. Still a douchey.
The crew goes out to celebrate the end of the charter season. The whole table order espresso martinis – what is with this show and espresso martinis. Everyone is obsessed with them on Below Deck Med also but I’ve never had one or seen someone order one in my whole life. Must be a yachtie thing. Nico is slamming his espresso martini and even steals Bri’s and slams that too. He is such a pussy and knows that he has to break it off with her. So, he has to either break up with a girl via text or when he’s wasted – either way in not admirable. Grow a pair Nico!
He pulls her aside in the middle of dinner – like let a chick eat dude. And what if this goes terribly wrong? Then you’d be ruining her whole night. He explains to her that he needs to break their travel plans and head back home asap because of family issues. He says that it’s not personal, but his family needs him. And Bri responds the only way that she can respond which is to be understanding and sympathetic. What else can you do when someone says their family needs them?
But then Bri tries way too hard to make it look like she’s unaffected and having soooo much fun! She dances around the fire like the hippie that she is and just keeps yelling “Yeah!” and “Whoo!”
Meanwhile, Jen stumbles off to find Kate and confront her yet again. She tells Kate that she doesn’t listen to her and Kate gives her the same speech she gave to Kyle. “It’s not personal, I just don’t have time for you and your problems.” Jen tries to keep critiquing what Kate did wrong as a boss but as expected, Kate shuts it down.
And next thing ya know, the crew is packing up and heading out one by one. Bruno very nervously asks Captain Lee for a letter of recommendation and then very confidently in his interview exclaims that he is going to become the best yachtie in history.
Kate and Jen talk one last time but Kate has spun the whole thing on Jen as only Kate can. “Well, I know sometimes people say things they don’t mean. And I hope that’s the case with all the mean things you said about me all season.”
Nico is now actually picking up the phone to call his ex-girlfriend who will be meeting him at the airport. I wonder if she knew they were actually broken up or if she thought they just weren’t talking for a while. He was very vague in his text to her. He gives Bri a bit of an icy send off – like thanks for the distraction and the ass, now be on your way with a little half hug.
Kate and Captain Lee are the last to say goodbye. I have a feeling this will be Kate’s last season – her heart just didn’t seem in it and she seemed quite bored by it all. I sure hope I’m wrong.
Yay so glad we are getting a reunion this year! I hope it was filmed soon after the show wrapped. The Below Deck Med reunion was hastily recorded months later when the show had already been airing and everyone was already over all of the issues and being way too civil to each other. I hope Bri calls Nico out for using her and being dishonest – but I mean Bri did know he had a girlfriend so whatever. Hopefully Jen finally accepts the constructive criticism that Kate has been giving and sees where she made mistakes instead of being so negative and defensive. And maybe EJ and Baker will finally be reunited and we’ll see if there’s a true love connection or not.