Real Housewives of New Jersey

Real Housewives of New Jersey Episode 7 Recap

A Retreat to Remember – Episode 7

The drama on the New Jersey episodes has slowed a little for me.  The ladies are still fighting about a cake, a “Soggy” comment, and a discussion that happened off camera.  And this episode was definitely lacking some quintessential Jersey-ness.  But what did I expect with an entire episode centered around a Siggy retreat? 

Episode 6     Episode 5     Episode 4

Look Up Loyalty in the Dictionary

Teresa and Dolores meet to discuss their issues with each other.  Teresa is upset with Dolores for not having her back and sticking up for her to Siggy in Florida.  And then on top of it Teresa is hearing this rumor from Danielle that Dolores is talking crap about her so Teresa is questioning Dolores’ loyalty.  Dolores again denies ever saying anything about Tre to Danielle and thinks that Danielle either made it up or is trying to put a wedge between Dolores and Teresa.  She also accuses Danielle of being on drugs – but I think it might be the opposite.  She needs some meds. 

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Dolores then turns the situation onto Teresa and says that she didn’t have her back when everyone was talking about her and Frank’s situation.  But Teresa thinks it’s weird and doesn’t understand why Dolores would let him move back in after all of this time.  Dolores says that Teresa has been able to put up with a lot more in her marriage than Dolores was able to in hers.  What exactly are you trying to say Dolores?  She seems to be hinting at Joe’s infidelity and making the whole thing sound very matter of fact.  But when Teresa questions her about what she means Dolores backs down and says that he was disrespectful at times.  Ok…. 

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Siggy Sundae

Siggy is making a giant ass ice cream sundae – like it’s so big that it’s actually grossing me out.  And then she piles on a ridiculous amount of chocolate chips and whipped cream.  Just looking at it is giving me secondhand diabetes.  She adds two spoons – who wants to share a sundae like that?  It’s gonna get all gross and melty and everything starts to blend together – bleh!   

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Dolores comes over and seems excited about the giant sundae but is done after two bites, which is smart.  But that leaves Siggy to gobble the rest of it down and Lord knows that girl doesn’t need any more sugar.  Dolores and Siggy discuss Siggy’s upcoming retreat and who she should invite.  Dolores persuades Siggy to call Margaret and then Siggy persuades Dolores to let Danielle come.  All in the spirit of forgiveness, peace, and the betterment of women – pretty much everything that the Housewives franchise is about. 

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Is This a Set Up?

Margaret and Melissa meet up to discuss this weird retreat thing.  They were both shocked to be invited after the way Siggy’s been treating them.  Melissa doesn’t understand how or why Siggy is inviting her to a women’s empowerment retreat when the last time that she saw her, Siggy was attempting to humiliate Melissa in front of a group of strangers.

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Margaret also doesn’t understand, especially after Siggy’s been acting so crazy towards her.  Margaret brings up Siggy sticking her tongue out at her, but she didn’t even see the strange and aggressive warrior dance thing that Siggy was doing behind Margaret’s back.  So odd. 

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Relaxing Retreat

The day of the retreat has arrived.  Who would actually sign up for this thing?  I mean does Siggy have obsessive fans that will travel and stay overnight just to hear her talk?  And talk she does!  Siggy is just going on and on and on talking about herself while pushing some cliché inspirational phrases here and there.  And her phrases are so generic and impersonal – “know your worth”.

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But then things take a turn and Siggy starts describing a girl that she hasn’t been able to get along with.  This one particular girl doesn’t understand Siggy no matter what Siggy does and often mocks and makes fun on Siggy.  Hmmm… who could she be referring to?  All of the ladies are looking around like is she really going to do this?  Siggy says that if a person is mean to you, you have a right to say “F*** you” to that person.  Wow, such a positive message – very empowering. 

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Siggy explains that she was made fun of as a child for her name and had dozens of hurtful nicknames.  This is why she was so sensitive to Margaret calling her “Soggy.”  And then she calls out Margaret directly by name in front of the whole crowd (which was only like 8 people but still).  But just when I think Siggy is going to drag her, she holds back and says that it takes two people to argue and two people to work it out.  So, she’s having Margaret stay in her room along with Dolores so they can get to know each other better. 

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There’s also a Zen room at the retreat, fully equipped with everything you could need to “know your worth”.  Vendors present in the Zen room included a make-up artist, a photographer, and most importantly a plastic surgeon.  Teresa pulls Danielle aside and tells her about her talk with Dolores.  Teresa is straight up with Danielle and tells her that she believes Dolores because of the 20 plus years of history.  But then Teresa betrays that history by blabbing to Danielle that Dolores said she does drugs. 

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That night at dinner of course Danielle brings up Dolores’ accusations right away.  Dolores is calm and collected, “Well, are you?  Are you on something?”  Danielle says no and the two get into it over who is lying.  But the whole thing is a moot point – we will never know who was lying and who was telling the truth or if neither and Danielle’s just exaggerating.  It’s not fair to fight about stuff that wasn’t on camera!  I’ll tell you what though, that Dolores is a gangster.  When Danielle gets upset about the drug accusations, Dolores just continues to eat her dinner and say, “What are you gonna do about it?” 

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The next morning, the ladies head out for more fun activities planned by Siggy.  The first one is a very dangerous game.  The ladies need to role play with someone that they’re having issues with but pretending to be the other person.  What a recipe for disaster!  And of course, first up are Margaret and Siggy.  Margaret does a hilariously accurate impersonation of “Soggy”.  She is fake crying about the cake and storming around throwing a huge fit.

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But then Margaret crosses the line and brings up Siggy’s son, Joshua.  She pretends to be crying in the phone to him and complaining that he doesn’t spend enough time with her.  Most of the ladies are cracking up at Margaret’s interpretation except for Dolores who thinks she’s nuts and Siggy who is standing there glaring at her. 

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Predictions

The episode ends with Siggy giving Margaret a death stare but it’s unclear if she’ll laugh it off or jump on Margaret like a wild animal.  There was a giant super teaser but so much was happening so fast.  Melissa has a turn to role play at Siggy and we see her laying on the ground like Siggy did when she humiliated Melissa.  Hopefully, Siggy will stand back and see how ridiculous she’s been behaving all season but I highly doubt that.  This silly game may only cause more problems.  And there was a ton of yelling and throwing of glassware in the upcoming episodes with a lot of the drama centering around the Jersey sideshow Kim D.  And even though I can’t stand her, I am ready for her appearance because someone needs to get in there and shake things up.  We can’t watch fighting about a cake all season long. 

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