Don’t Cry Over Shattered Glass – Episode 10
Another week, another great Dallas episode. These ladies deliver every week – or should I say LeeAnne Locken delivers! Y’all better be giving her a percentage of your checks. What I love about LeeAnne is that she’ll get everyone riled up and against someone but she doesn’t back away from the fight. Some other housewives (ahem Dorinda) will get everyone going but then back away and not get involved. LeeAnne is always up in the fold where she belongs!
The ladies are back from Mexico and Cary is talking to her husband, Mark, about the trip. She tells him what LeeAnne said about him but gives him a waaaayy watered down version. She told him that LeeAnne said that he goes to the Round Up and gets hit on by guys. Uh, that’s not what she said. Her accusation was a lot more explicit than that. I don’t understand why Cary didn’t tell him the full story. Maybe she was afraid of his reaction.
D’Andra has a major pitch meeting with her mother and she’s trying to get her idea for snow algae skin care approved. D’Andra lists all the perks of the new potential product and says that in a clinical study 100% of patients saw results of decreased wrinkles. Sign me up!
Mama Dee is impressed but not sold – she’s no dummy and wants to see the numbers. Surprisingly, not only does D’Andra know the overall cost of the product, she also has a fact sheet ready to go for her mother to look at. This is how you do it Kameron. Dee approves the product and D’Andra is on her way to her own empire!
Flesh Eating Bacteria
LeeAnne is feeling crappy after the Mexico trip and gets an IV delivered to her house. She facetimes with Brandi (who looks creepy af) and tells her she’s trying to make it to Brandi’s holiday party. She also tells Brandi that in Mexico, Cary said she would never be friends with Brandi or Stephanie and she was embarrassed of them. And it’s all on tape. Everyone was accusing Stephanie of being a social climber but it’s Cary who’s been up Kameron’s ass.
Well, it turns out the weak and crappy way that LeeAnne was feeling wasn’t just a bad Mexican hang over – it was flesh-eating bacteria!!! She has an infection on her breast and the tissue has been getting dissolved. Did she go in the water in Mexico? Or is it just a regular infection that got out of control. Yuck!!!!
Smart Dogs Eat Everything
Kameron drives out to the “boonies” to a dog food plant and discusses her idea with two burly men who look like they want to laugh in her face. I was waiting for her to whip out her poster board with glitter and pink cut outs. I never want to hear anyone compare this chick to Elle Woods again. Law school > dog food.
Brandi’s holiday white party in underway and of course, Stephanie is one of the first to arrive. Brandi tells her what Cary said about not wanting to be friends with them. Stephanie is shocked but doesn’t want to believe it until she talks to Cary because she doesn’t trust LeeAnne.
Brandi tries to plead with Stephanie and tells her that Cary lies all of the time. “I mean, we all know she was Mark’s nanny.” Bomb dropped! This rumor was already discussed at last year’s reunion and heavily denied by Cary. The implication was that Cary was having an affair with Mark while he was still married.
Out of the blue, this robot with an I-pad on it starts whizzing around the party. It’s D’Andra calling in from her trip! She was cruising around, talking to people and it was hilarious!
Kameron and Cary arrive and make a beeline for the bar without saying hello to anyone. And then Kameron has the audacity to complain that there’s plastic cups instead of glass. OMG I am so over this snooty, stick up the ass attitude. You are not Countess LuAnn! You are just some random dumb blonde who married well so puh-lease stop acting holier than thou.
At least Kameron comes with a gift for Brandi that she thinks will be funny but she fails so hard. She brought batteries thinking it would be hilarious to give to Brandi to use with sexual chocolate. Except that sexual chocolate, as a dildo, doesn’t use batteries. Duh! Nice try Kam, way to fall flat yet again.
The ladies are all standing around and then Cary proclaims that she’s bored. Wow – and that’s supposed to be classy. Brandi is ready to confront Cary about her comments but the party is too loud and everyone heads downstairs to a more secluded area. That’s probably for the best.
LeeAnne has her note cards in hand (hilarious!) and is ready to take Cary down. Stephanie and Brandi confront Cary about saying she doesn’t want to be friends with them. Cary finally fesses up to something and admits that she said it because in the moment she was upset. She said she was embarrassed about the dildo and her step-son seeing this. LeeAnne calls her bullshit right away. Cary can pose naked on camera and talk about all the sex her and husband have on camera, but this crosses the line. Total hypocrite.
Stephanie then confronts Cary and she is genuinely hurt. She tells Cary that she would never sit there and let someone else call her “trashy” like she did when Kam was saying it. And Stephanie says she would never say she wasn’t her friend. Cary turns to LeeAnne and says that she would definitely not be friends with her. And this pushes LeeAnne over the edge. She gets right up in Cary’s face and is calling her fake. She is literally two inches away from Cary.
LeeAnne seems to compose herself and sits back down. But that lasts for 1.5 seconds because she grabs a champagne class, smashes it on the floor, and then stands up so fast that her belt flies off! I had to watch many, many times. It was equal parts terrifying and entertaining. But at least Kam finally understands why Brandi had plastic cups at the event.
Brandi is over Cary and her judgey ways and straight up outs her for being Mark’s nanny. Cary admits that she used to babysit once and awhile. The nanny part is not that big of a deal. What the ladies need to uncover is if she was sleeping with Mark while he was still married and if that’s what caused the divorce. Someone call the ex-wife already!
Cary can’t take anymore abuse and leaves the party with her new bff, Kameron, in tow. The rest of the girls sit there recovering but now at least they can all go back upstairs and have a fun night.
Next week does not look nearly as exciting but we haven’t had a boring episode yet so I have high hopes. The reason it prob looks so boring is because the whole thing is centered around Kameron’s dog food launch party – that’s right, this is actually happening. But we do get a confrontation between Mark and LeeAnne. It looks like LeeAnne kind of backs down but if Mark says one little thing to push her buttons, he’s in a world of hurt. And I am here for that!