Real Housewives of Dallas

Real Housewives of Dallas Episode 9 Recap

You’ve Yacht to Be Kidding Me – Episode 9

This was a great episode but then again, there hasn’t been a bad one yet. Stephanie and Brandi were a hilarious pair of bandits – I think it was the funniest they’ve ever been. All of the rumors finally come out and the ladies have to deal with the gossip head on. But hey, if you’re gonna fight, it might as well be on a yacht! 

Episode 8      Episode 7      Episode 6

Dr. Shaming

The episode picks up where it left off last week:  the ladies arguing at dinner about Cary trash talking other people’s doctors.  Somehow LeeAnne has slithered her way out of this argument and turned it all around on Cary.  Cary is continuing to deny that she ever said that Brandi’s doctor killed someone on the operating table and says that Brandi made the whole thing up.  But Brandi is sticking to her story.  Even if Cary did say it, she could never admit to such a thing on television.  Lawsuits for days. 

The group splits off and for some reason the camera follows Cary and Kameron to the hotel for the extreme excitement of teeth brushing and face masks.  Meanwhile the rest of the ladies are buzzed off of tequila and dancing on the bar but they have to film it all with cell phones.  I mean who dropped the ball on this one?  Is there not more than one cameraman?  Always stick with the girls drinking tequila! 

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And even the next morning the girls are filming themselves with matching camcorders.  What kind of low budget bullcrap is this?  Get it together Bravo – this isn’t Potomac! 

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Let The Games Begin

D’Andra organizes an obstacle course on the beach and pairs the ladies off into teams of two:  Cary & LeeAnne, Kameron & Brandi, and D’Andra & Stephanie.   Brandi decides that her and Kam should be Team Sesame Street because she’s Elmo and Kameron is Big Bird.  She does some hilarious impressions in her interviews (you can even hear the producers laughing in the background).  The obstacle course has a volleyball net that is very low to the ground and the ladies keep getting stuck in it.  Brandi actually gets her hair bun stuck and gets whipped back down.

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LeeAnne’s boobs are hurting so for the next game of volleyball she stands in the back and serves.  Brandi and Stephanie are on her team but don’t have to do any work because the other ladies suck so bad.  Somehow Kam, Carey, and D’Andra lose even though they had Kam or “the green giant” as D’Andra calls her. 

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Mission Chocolate

Back at the hotel, Brandi and Stephanie hatch a plan to get into LeeAnne’s room and steal back their black dildo aka sexual chocolate.  Brandi dresses very glam and puts on a great performance as LeeAnne to a hotel worker.  And somehow it works – he gives her the key!  That doesn’t seem very secure. 

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The girls sneak into the room and while Brandi is searching high and low, Stephanie is eating the breakfast leftovers that are still out.  So hilarious!  They eventually find “chocolate” under LeeAnne’s pillow which is odd.  And as they’re running out, Stephanie grabs one last bite of sausage. 

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We Got The Yacht!

D’Andra arranged for a leisurely afternoon aboard a luxury yacht.  (“We got the yacht girls! Can you believe it?”)  Everyone seems to finally be having fun and relaxing.  They’re sipping on beautiful tropical cocktails and doing shots of tequila.

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And then Big Bird has to ruin it all by pot stirring.  She doesn’t understand how Stephanie and Brandi are being all buddy buddy with LeeAnne when they were just talking crap about her and her doctor. 

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Brandi denies making fun of LeeAnne or her doctor, which is a lie and we see the footage to prove it.  D’Andra brings up the rumor that Cary said about LeeAnne’s fiancé and said that Stephanie and Brandi made it sound like a huge deal.  Cary admits that she repeated a rumor she’s heard that he has a small dick but that it was a joke.  But then she throws Brandi under the bus “Well you were laughing!”

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Now Brandi wants out and starts screaming about being stuck in the middle while both ladies are gossiping about each other.  But Brandi eats that gossip up.  She tells the group what LeeAnne said about Cary’s husband and The Round Up.  This rumor is a lot more hurtful but it also isn’t the first time Cary’s heard this info. 

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Suddenly, it’s 2 hours later and all of the ladies are drunk from tequila but also very sea sick.  Poor Stephanie is on the ground and gets up only to puke over the side of the boat.  Those waves did look really rocky and the yacht was getting bounced around like a tug boat. 

LeeAnne comes back over for round 2 with Cary – the difference this time is about 6 shots of tequila.  LeeAnne wants an apology from Cary, which she gets.  But first Cary breaks down in tears and yells at LeeAnne for going back to her old, scary behavior.  LeeAnne acknowledges that she’s still working on her reactions. 

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Stephanie breaks the tension by asking LeeAnne to see her new tits.  LeeAnne refuses and then Brandi reaches in her bag and pulls out the sexual chocolate.  Kameron is surprisingly calm and it’s LeeAnne who is in shock.  She’s trying to figure out how they got into her room but she never straight up asks them.  Brandi continues to wave sexual chocolate around until it finally swipes Kameron’s foot.  That was her breaking point and she exits the boat.  LeeAnne and Stephanie are both trying to keep Brandi under control but the tequila is in control now ladies.  Kameron refuses to get back on the boat unless she receives an apology from Brandi. 

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Predictions

This may have been our last episode in Mexico – it didn’t look like there were any more scenes unless there’s one of them packing and leaving.  LeeAnne tells Brandi that Cary has been saying she doesn’t want to be Brandi’s friend and is embarrassed by her.  LeeAnne and Cary really hate each other and Brandi and Stephanie are the pawns they are fighting over.  But they also both want Kameron for the status.  It all comes to a head when LeeAnne smashes a glass and then gets in Cary’s face screaming.  OMG I am ready for that!!! 

Episode 8      Episode 7      Episode 6

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