100 Feet From Catastrophe – Episode 6
What a shit show… these kids are all over the place and someone is gonna blow. Finally, tonight there are some consequences for the incompetence but I don’t think it will be enough. But hey, as long as the guests are happy right?
Jen is on the verge of a breakdown. She seems to think that she does more work than Bri and has been very resentful of her since the date with Matt. Somehow, Jen manages to overflow the washing machines and bubbles are everywhere – which Bri cleans up. Kate, very sweetly, shows Jen the proper amount of detergent to use and Jen still has attitude. “No matter what I do, nothing is ever good enough for Kate. She always finds something wrong with my work.” You overflowed the washing machine! That is wrong!
Hot Mess Express
The deck team is also a hot mess and no one knows who to take direction from. Poor Baker is literally told to do one thing by EJ, goes and starts working, and 5 seconds later Nico tells her to do something else. How frustrating! They are giving complete opposite directions and the entire team is confused af.
And then there’s Chef Canada who has also been having problems and hasn’t recovered from his crappy dinner the night before. He promises the guests fresh lobster before realizing that he has no lobster in stock. OMG. So, they have to send a tender to shore to pick up some lobster, which takes forever. Everyone is super stressed and the guests are getting hangry. Finally, the lobster arrives and the guests love it.
Kate explains to Chef that the guests want a tasting of the Caribbean menu for dinner. She gives him a very patient, but stern pep talk. “These guests aren’t drink and all they care about is food so…. bring your A-game.” She has been so chill this season – like who are you? Hot Jesus really worked wonders.
Well, Kate’s pep talk worked because Chef Canada churns out some amazing courses and the guests are super satisfied. Finally, Chef has proven himself to us and to Kate. He needs to continue to bring it and not get all Chef Leon with the repetitive beef cheeks.
Kate organized a casino night theme party per the guest’s request. A theme party with no alcohol – who are these people? Kate recruits Chris Brown as the poker dealer and he’s a good sport about it. Somehow, the guests seem to have fun playing cards…. completely sober.
Overnight the anchor started dragging and the yacht started drifting towards this amazing, fancy boat “The Falcon.” So maybe they do need an overnight anchor watch after all. Captain wants to move the boat so the jet skis, tender, and dingy need to be moved. I’m pretty sure this whole thing was Nico’s fault (which he never admits) because he jumped in the tender and they released the lines but he never started the engine. When he goes to start the engine, he discovers that there are no keys and he’s stuck just drifting around at sea. OMG – why would you throw the lines without checking for the keys!
So EJ comes on the dingy and tries to drag the much large tender away from the Falcon. But the current is too strong and now they’re both floating right for the Falcon. The crew on the yacht can’t do anything but watch in horror and suspense. But, at the very last second the boats get away from the Falcon and does not hit this super expensive dream boat.
Meanwhile, Baker cannot figure out how to raise the anchor. She is bumbling around and asking the Captain questions over the radio like a fool. Captain Lee cannot even hide his disdain and repeats several times over the radio “God Damnit” and “This is bullshit”.
The guests leave and the crew meeting is actually pretty calm. The guests left a great tip and Captain gives everyone permission to party in St Barth’s that night. But then a separate meeting is held for the deckhands and this is not as pleasant. Captain calls everyone out individually but then asks to see only Chris Brown and Nico. I started to get seriously worried that maybe Nico would be fired for his epic mistake today. But, it is Chris Brown who gets the boot and a plane ticket back to surfer land.
The crew heads out to St Barth’s, minus Chris Brown, and everyone is chugging drinks. Except for Chef Canada who has wisely switched to water.
EJ is coming off as super douchey and like he’s trying too hard. It is especially driving Nico crazy. Jen get hammered super quickly and starts complaining about how she works harder than anyone else on the boat. Ok Jen, calm down. Bri calls her bitter and Jen stutters some more slurry words before Kate shuts it down.
The group hits up a club and Nico and Bri do some dancing. It wasn’t exactly innocent but it wasn’t like dirty dancing either – I’d rate it PG-13. EJ is trying to dance while sitting down – kind of like we all do in the car, but it’s bad, really bad. Nico just keeps glaring at him with hatred and disgust in his eyes. He can’t even stand the sight of him! EJ’s mere presence annoys Nico and ruins his fun.
The crew has to take the tender back to the yacht. That’s just great – let’s take a super green crew, get them drunk, and then have them operate machinery. EJ jumps onto the yacht from the tender and almost slips and falls. Nico freaks out and starts talking shit to EJ and telling him he’s had too much to drink. Oh no Nico, I think it is you who has had too much.
He’s yelling at EJ to go to bed (Go to sleep! Go to sleep! You’re crazy! – RHONY Scary Island). And Nico yells at EJ for wearing shoes on “his deck”. In the lamest comeback of all time EJ says, “It’s my deck now buddy boy.” Really? Buddy boy? He talks like this is 1950 – cool beans.
And sadly, that’s where the episode ends. We’ll have to wait until next week to see if Nico throws a punch. He does deliver the line from the trailer, “If I’m not boson tomorrow, I quit.” But it’s still the same night, which means Nico is still wasted pants so I doubt he’ll stand behind those words in the morning. I’m ready to see Jen snap like full blown Rocky crazy. Keep pushing those buttons Bri. And will Nico and Bri finally end the sexual tension and hook up? Frankly I don’t really give a damn – same storyline every season.