Cool Beans – Episode 5
Something seemed different on this episode of Below Deck. Maybe it was that the guests weren’t drunk and belligerent, maybe it was the new deckhand EJ, or maybe it was Kate being incredibly calm and understanding. Either way, it was eerie and unsettling.
Not only is the new guest a trained chef, they are also celebrating a 10-year anniversary AND they don’t drink! OMG a Below Deck first. Chef Canada is really going to have to step it up because they will be extra critical of him and have no cocktails in their systems to cloud their judgement.
Date in the Nude
Chef Canada and Bri are going on a beach excursion date and Jen is not happy about being left behind. She thinks that she should get an extra-long break since Bri is getting special treatment. Kate, very fairly, tells her that next time there’s an opportunity for her to do something fun off the boat she can do it. But Jen doesn’t want it – they what are you complaining for lady? Shut up and get back to work.
Chef Canada is super nervous for his date with Bri so he calms his nerves by downing many, many Bud Lights. He’s already super lit and the date hasn’t even started yet!
The idea was super cute – he packed a bag with all of her favorite snacks (and whiskey) and took her to a private beach. The thought was nice but unfortunately things don’t work out for Chef Canada because when they pull up to the beach they realize that it’s a nude beach and there’s old nasty naked people everywhere. Gross! Not a great first impression but hey, it’s the thought that counts.
But then Chef Canada makes things even more awkward and he starts downing whiskey. This is after all of the beer he had onboard. Every alchie knows that you can’t go from beer to hard liquor – recipe for disaster. Beer before liquor never been sicker, liquor before beer you’re in the clear. Learn it, love it, live it Chef.
Chef Canada is straight up wasted at this point and blabbing away. He wants to get a van with Bri and drive across the country – whoa dude slow down. I think he lets Bri speak like twice before continuing to ramble about nothing. And then he takes a big swig of whiskey right out of the bottle… classy. This is not a frat house Chef, this is Bravo!
Finally, the date is over and Bri legit runs and jumps onto the boat to take her away. Chef Canada asks her point blank if she likes him and she straight up says “no”. I’m liking her honesty – some other past crew members could take a page out of her book, ahem Malia. She was honest with both Chris Brown and Chef Canada about her feelings but she won’t admit that she is really into Nico.
Out of nowhere some new guy comes walking onto the boat and proclaims that he’s the new boson. Aww man, I was really hoping for Eddie or Kelley. The new guy’s name is EJ and he has a history with Captain Lee.
When Nico finds out about the new boson he is pissed. He’s been working his ass off and thinks that he deserves the promotion to boson. He really has been working hard but he can only do so much. EJ’s catch phrase is “cool beans” and he repeats it several times – can’t trust a guy like that. It’s even worse the Chef What’s-His-Face from Below Deck Med constantly repeating “later skater.”
Nico is now worried about his place on the boat and if he will be the next to go home. But it is poor Chris Brown who gets kicked out of his room and has to sleep in the crew mess on the couch. Ouch! How humiliating! It’s like they’re saying, “We’ll keep ya, but you’re not good enough to get a bed.” His clothes are hanging everywhere and he’s pretty much packed so it would be easy to have him be the one who gets fired.
Get These Guests a Drink!
Chef Canada is also having a rough day. He claims he is “tired” but come-on Chef, we all know – you’re hung over. Dinner service has to be perfect because the guests aren’t drinking – like really, no one drinks, not one of you would even like some wine with dinner? Who are you people?!
And sure enough, the foodie guests have several complaints about Chef Canada’s dinner. The risotto is undercooked and the steak is overcooked but the guest begrudgingly eat it anyway. They also have “feedback” for the dessert: there wasn’t enough ice cream. Kate is super annoyed because when she relays the guest’s grievances to Chef Canada he just kind of shrugs it off.
Who’s In Charge?
The tension between Nico and EJ is already starting to build when it’s time to pull up the anchor. The anchor is coming up way too close to the boat and is threatening to scrape the paint. Afterwards, Nico discovers that the anchor brake was engaged which is a bad thing. There was all this gunk all over from the metal rubbing and apparently that’s a really dumb mistake for a boson to make. Nico storms off muttering under his breathe so yeah, don’t think they’re gonna be besties.
Oooohh next week looks sooo good y’all! This is when Below Deck really hits its stride – a few weeks in when everyone’s at their breaking point. Jen somehow manages to overflow the laundry machines and there is soap everywhere – been there girl. The friction between EJ and Nico escalates and they actual yell at each other. Tension between Jen and Bri comes out of nowhere – I would’ve though Jen would snap on Kate first. Something happens with the yacht possibly hitting another boat and even after watching a few times, the scene was still pretty confusing. All I know is that someone is going to be getting a plane ticket home!