Real Housewives of Dallas

Real Housewives of Dallas Episode 7 Recap

Viva la Mexico – Episode 7 

Another great week of Dallas y’all!  Cary hates her husband and her husband hates their baby so that’s fun.  LeeAnne goes off the deep end and makes threats while talking like a gremlin.  So, what better time for a group trip to Mexico!  Tequila is an upper! 

Episode 6      Episode 5     Episode 4

Scary Cary

Cary, poor oppressed Cary is in a dark place.  She can barely stand the sight of her husband but is forced to work with him and deal with his condescending ass.  She has to ask him for permission to leave the office in order to go pick up their daughter from school.  And he is super annoyed about it, “Like yeah, I guess.  If you have to.  Damn kid always getting in the way.”  It’s your child too Mark!


Cary escapes to her adorable daughter and they wear matching outfits to do yoga.  Too freaking cute!  Finally, we see Cary in a happy place, unlike when she’s with her husband and constantly has this look on her face like she just smelled something rotten. 

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One Last Dip

Stephanie and her Wreck-It-Ralph husband take their boys to their new mega mansion so they can get excited about the indoor pool before it gets pulled from their grasps.  Travis finally agrees to let Stephanie cover the pool but then decides as one last hurrah to push her in.  Not only does he push her into the pool fully clothed but he enlists the help of his two small sons.  So now they think it’s ok to treat mommy like crap too -adorable. 


Lets Level Those Nipples Out

Brandi takes LeeAnne to her surgery for a breast rejuvenation aka to put her nipples where they should be.  LeeAnne is extremely upset that Cary talked shit about her doctor and it’s making her even more nervous.  And she should be nervous – this doctor looks like he’s 95 years old and is going to use a level from a construction site to even out her tits!  Like wtf?!   

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And then behind closed doors, but still miced up LeeAnne let’s her crazy evil twin emerge.  She is whispering while also yelling to Brandi all sorts of scary crap about Cary.  She said that Cary’s husband gets his dick sucked by men at The Round-Up – sounds like a classy joint.


She said she doesn’t need knives to go after Cary because she has her hands and they “work quite well”.  Ahhh!!!!  I’m officially scared and chilled to the bone!  When I first saw the preview, I thought LeeAnne was for sure drugged up and it was post-surgery when she said all of this.  But no, she is just legit that terrifying.  Thanks for the nightmares about hands coming at me I’ll be having the next few days LeeAnne. 

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And then it’s time to knock this bitch out and cut her open.  Fix the nipples!  LeeAnne’s surgery scene gets overcut with Cary and her husband doing surgery on some random.  It was just too much – I can’t with surgery scenes.  Bleh!  But afterwards Cary tells her husband that this will be her last surgery and she’s going to stay home full time with their daughter.

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She also noted that she was afraid to tell him at home so she was going to do it at the office… ?  He tells her “good luck with that” and she says “thanks” like he was being sincere.  No dumbass he was being a sarcastic douche – he’s hoping you fail. 

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This Is A Reenactment

Brandi and Stephanie go shopping and of course Brandi tells her everything that cuckoo bird LeeAnne had said.  But Brandi’s recount of the events was even more chilling.  She said that LeeAnne had her fists clenched, was making crazy expressions, and was right up in Brandi’s face the entire time.  I would have ran my ass straight out of the room and never looked back! 


Shooting Divas

D’Andra and her hunky husband take Cary and her slob of a husband shooting at a gun range.  The girls are both excellent shots but Mark predictably sucks.  I love seeing arrogant men like him fail at something and how they react to having a bruised ego.  It makes them so uncomfortable.

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Brandi calls to warn Cary about LeeAnne’s threatening remarks and Cary is, rightfully so, freaked out.  D’Andra doesn’t believe that LeeAnne said this with any sort of actual intention but tell that to the trolley that got slapped last year or the ex-boyfriend who got attacked with sandpaper.   



The ladies are all packing and getting ready for Mexico and Kameran tries on these ridiculous sunglasses for her husband who couldn’t care less.  He tells her that no one will take her seriously if she wears those but she’s excited by that.  Her goal is to not be taken seriously by anyone, ever.  Well, sweetheart mission accomplished. 


The group lands in Mexico and divides up into their rooms.  Of course, Stephanie and Brandi will be rooming together and then there’s Kam and Cary together and D’Andra and LeeAnne together.  D’Andra is trying to talk LeeAnne into being nice to Cary on the trip but LeeAnne is over it. 

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Brandi reenacts LeeAnne’s crazy breakdown about Cary to Kameran and the other ladies and man does she get into it.  She either really wants to prove how intense it was or she just wanted an excuse to get up in Kameran’s face.  Kameran seems disturbed but she is even more put off that the other ladies are trash talking LeeAnne’s doctor and the work he did. 



Next week we really get into the Mexico trip and let’s hope these ladies can bring it as much as the New York Mexico trip.  Even if they brought it 1/8 as much as the New York ladies it’d be amazing!  And it does look like it will be good because Cary lets LeeAnne know that Brandi blabbed to everyone about LeeAnne’s crazy threats.  LeeAnne turns her hateful glare and pointy finger right to Brandi and ohhh shit I’d be crapping my pants.  Run Brandi!  She knows how to use her hands!  And sandpaper! 

Episode 6      Episode 5     Episode 4

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