Kate Goes to Church – Episode 4
I really don’t know who is going to lose their shit first Captain Lee, Kate, or Nico. Captain Lee will just make it rain with plane tickets if he gets pushed too hard and Nico will go off and cry on his own. Kate is the really entertaining one to look out for when she finally takes down that woodland creature Jen.
The crew is still out partying and they are starting to get sloppy. Bri is pole dancing and Baker is dancing on the table. Jen is still hiding in the bathroom yelling for Kate who comes and retrieves her. Everyone heads back to the boat except for Kate who ditches them for hot Jesus. In one of her most epic lines ever Kate lays it down, “What you Jesus do? Me.”
Back on the boat Chris Brown tries to tell Bri that he has feelings for her but he’s talking pretty incoherently at this point. Bri catches his drift and shuts it down right away telling him straight up that she’s not interested. Hey Malia, this is how you do it! The only problem is Chris Brown prob won’t remember this conversation and will still be after her.
Walk of Shame
The next morning Nico catches Kate doing the walk of shame in last night’s clothes and chases her around the boat until he tackles her on the stairs. She tries to run but Nico keeps chasing her and giving her shit.
Jen has an idea to get some sun by ironing on deck in her bathing suit and surprisingly Kate allows it. Jesus really can work miracles.
The new charter guests arrive and not only do all of these ladies look like Vicki Gunvalson, but they also sound exactly like her with their constant “Whoos!” If they’re anything like Vicki, they’re going to be needing a lot of attention.
The deckhands are finally allowed to touch the lines – which ends up being a huge mistake. There was a spring line that didn’t get untied but the Captain was given the all clear. The rope pulled the bow back in angled right at the dock and got closer and closer until BAM – the boat hit the dock and Captain Lee’s blood pressure boiled over.
The whole thing was pretty much Baker and Chris Brown’s fault because they were standing there staring down at the line still tied and didn’t say anything. But Chris Brown is acting totally clueless and innocent about the whole sitch.
Kate has to head back to shore for some disco ball décor (and maybe some more Jesus time) but nearly dies in the process. She was trying to climb onto the same boat from the dingy and the damn first mate was sitting right in her way. He wouldn’t scooch over or even help pull her up and next thing you know Kate’s legs are like Stretch Armstrong.
Kate makes Jen wear an afro wig for the disco themed dinner and Jen is super upset about it. She thinks Kate is picking on her and hazing her but hello… would you rather wear a wig or have to do what Bruno did last charter?
And the guests loved the involvement and thought it was hilarious so isn’t that all that matters. But Jen is being a big baby and eventually pawns the wig off onto one of the guests.
Down in the galley Chef Canada asks Jen to get some mint which overwhelms Jen and she cannot complete the task in a timely manner so Chef says forget it. Then Kate comes down and sees Jen all flustered but doesn’t understand why. So, she tells Jen to do something else and Jen totally loses it. She runs downstairs and has a total break down while she keeps snapping at Kate. Kate has to calm her down by talking to her like a two-year-old which actually works.
Chris Brown is stuck on anchor watch as a punishment for being a doofus. He doesn’t even mind because he would rather sit around and do nothing all night than actually work. And then we find out that in the Carribean, there doesn’t need to be an anchor watch – that’s only a Med thing.
Kate tries to get Bruno to go dance with the guests at their disco party but he doesn’t want to. He declines and tells her he’s too tired and Kate starts ripping into him. “You need advance notice to participate in a charter? I mean you don’t do anything else on the boat so you can at least do this. You need to earn your tip.” Like damn Kate, the poor kid already looks like he’s gonna collapse any second and he had to do the majority of the work with stupid Chris Brown just standing around all day.
The next morning Captain Lee and the deckhands are attempting to dock the boat. All the sudden Captain gets on the radio and says that he has no bow thrusters. I have no idea what that means but everyone starts freaking out. Nico is yelling orders, ropes are being pulled, and Chef Canada comes running out to assist. Chef was doing more to help that any of the other deckhands and really sprang into action pulling on those ropes like a real-life Paul Bunyan. Hot!
Captain Lee is not happy at the tip meeting and threatens a “reconfiguration” on the teams. No one knows what that means but everyone is stressed out about the possibility of getting fired. Nico wants Chris Brown gone sooo badly but he hasn’t technically made one big mistake yet. He just doesn’t do shit.
The crew heads out to let off some steam and drink their worries away. Chef Canada is super into Bri and Nico is pushing him to ask her out before someone else does. So, Chef asks Bri out and she says yes! Yay!
But then she flirts with Nico on the drive back right in front of Chef. And THEN she goes knocking on his door and drags him out of bed into some secluded closet and starts telling him how cute he is. Damn girl! You know he has a girlfriend and you just said yes to a date with sweet, rope pulling, steak cooking Chef. Maybe she is the new Malia…..
Nico is freaked out by his close call with Bri and needs to get his head straight. That could’ve easily turned from innocent flirting to dirty laundry room activities. Bri and Chef go on a date to the nude beach and it looks pretty awkward. But I don’t know what she’s complaining about – the man brought alcohol, what else could you want? And there is a new deckhand hired which Nico is really pissed about for some reason. I went back and re-watched and paused about 20 times and could not make out the mysterious stranger’s face but it didn’t look like a familiar one so probably some more fresh meat. Omg ya’ll what if it’s Kelly?!!!! I’d die!