Jesus Saves – Episode 3
Jesus saves! But even hot Jesus might not be enough to save Kate from these terrible stews. Kate is dealing with her challenges in her usual way: humor. But Jen doesn’t understand Kate and is already starting to crack. The deck crew seems to be showing some signs of improvement – although still not enough to touch the lines when docking. I noticed a few times this episode when the crew was saying or doing something stupid Kate and Captain Lee would both look directly at the camera. I felt like I was watching The Office and I will love if they keep doing it all season!
Chris Brown Down
The episode starts right back up at last week’s cliffhanger with Chris Brown napping on the job while Nico radios him endlessly. Nico still can’t get ahold of Chris Brown so Captain Lee gets involved. Nico finally locates the slacker down in his bunk sleeping off his hangover. Chris Brown surprisingly gets off with only a warning but the Captain is going to be on his ass now.
Kate gets her day workers to clean the boat so she can concentrate on training her ditzy stews. Bri doesn’t understand why she has to do all of this – I mean she has worked on boats before.
But then she takes 7 minutes to make an espresso martini – a Below Deck staple. Kate has a mock dinner where her and Captain Lee are playing the roles of nightmare charter guests. Or as Kate calls it a “fire drill” for yachting. Bri seems to be showing a little more promise than doe eyed Jen, who takes 20 minutes to make a cosmo. Kate channeling her inner southern bitchy guest is giving me life!
First Mate Down
The sassy guests show up but unfortunately Captain Lee has some bad news for them. They will not be leaving the dock due to a mechanical error which is code for sick first mate. The guests look pretty disappointed but as long as Jen can get the drinks flowing in less than 20 minutes things should be alright.
Chef Canada is starting to worry Kate. He doesn’t seem to know how to prepare sushi and is carrying around a sushi cook book. Yikes!
Well brilliant chief stew Kate comes up with an idea that will distract the guests even if the sushi Chef Canada attempts to prepare isn’t great. She has ab-tastic Bruno strip down and lay the sushi all over his buff tan body. Good thing Vicki Gunvalson wasn’t around or she would’ve given him a lecture and a business card. The guests absolutely loved it – a little too much maybe. It was borderline sexual harassment but Bruno seemed to love the attention.
After dinner service Kate seems to think that Jen can handle the guests on her own and dips out to visit hot Jesus. Kate must’ve really like this dude to leave Jen alone when it takes her 20 minutes to make a drink.
And the guests are getting drunk and out of control. And while Jen looks stressed and annoyed, she did keep it together pretty well while Kate was off in some random’s sailboat.
The next day the crew is able to set sail and get the guests out on the water. Bruno and Chris Brown are still not allowed to touch the lines and just stand around watching. But the deckhands do a lot better job this time when lowering the tinder into the water.
Chef Canada is still totally clueless if he’s not making steak and potatoes. He somehow managed to pull off the sushi but he cannot figure out what to prepare that will pair with tequila. He plans a menu that includes eggplant parmesan and presents the menu to the guests. They are not happy and go storming into the kitchen to complain.
Bri suggests something with a more Spanish flare and Chef Canada decides to switch the menu. He has to ask Chris Brown for advice when it came to pairing the tequila. When Bri and Chris Brown are the brains of the operation you know you’re in trouble.
Kate has been joking around with Jen but it’s not clear if the jokes are playful or snarky. Jen starts to push back which I think Kate likes but Jen better be careful not to push her too far. Kate tells Jen she wants to clip her mouth shut and Jen responds, “Clip you shut… your vagina.” Kate starts cracking up and thank God because I thought the woodland creature was about to die.
But then they’re going back and forth again while trying to find tequila and Jen calls Kate a bitch in front of the guests. Oh girl, you’ve done it now. Kate snarks back, “She sucks at her job but she’s really funny.” And then Jen makes this face and I saw the true crazy that lies within. And I was scared!
Party Hardy with Jesus
The guests leave and the crew hits the town for some drinking and dancing. Jen is ready to get lit af but it’s evident that she’s gonna have a rough night because she trips and falls before they even make it to the bar.
She is just downing shot after shot and starts to get slurry very quickly. Hot Jesus shows up to the bar and immediately asks Kate if she’s buying. Eww! Ditch him Kate! But she’s already pretty buzzed herself and overlooks his bad manners for his hotness.
Jen is wastey pants by now and stumbles into the bathroom muttering incoherently. For some reason she starts yelling for Kate but then locks herself into this nasty ass bathroom. I’m not sure what was happening but it looks like she’s going to need help back to the boat and Kate will be pissed that she messed up her night with hot Jesus.
Next week the boat runs into the dock and Captain Lee is pissed af, rightfully so. There will be some sort of “reconfiguration” which hopefully results in some plane tickets. And the beginnings of a love triangle are blossoming – way to take notes from the Below Deck Med kids. Chef Canada has his sights set on Bri, but Bri is super into Nico, and Nico has a girlfriend but will prob make some bad decisions. We can only hope.