Below Deck

Below Deck Episode 2 Recap

It Ain’t Easy Being Green – Episode 2

This week we got to know the new crew a little better and see how ill-equipped they really are for this job. The situation is dismal and the crew is lucky to get through this charter. But not only are the green crew members terrible at their jobs but they’re also complaining and whining throughout the entire episode – this is not going to fly with HBIC Kate or Captain Lee. Make it rain with plane tickets!

Episode 1     Below Deck Med

I’m Not The Sharpest Tool In the Shed… But At Least I’m Pretty!

Things pick back up still at the beach picnic and still with an incompetent crew.  Jen is still struggling to open a wine bottle and Briana is attempting to entertain the guests by sliding an Oreo down her face.  Things are dire.

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Baker is in the water with a guest who is telling her how the sea Bob is supposed to work while she drags it around and looks up at him totally clueless.

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Back on the boat things are not much better.  Kate finds the laundry room in complete disarray and no laundry is currently being done.

The deckhands cannot figure out how to load the jet skis onto the boat and there’s just a lot of yelling but not a lot of action.  They all just kind of stand there pulling the ropes and not changing their actions when Nico yells at them to.

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It’s a hot mess and Captain Lee knows it.  He even agrees to hire some day workers to help Kate so she can focus on training and he enlists the help of the actual professionals on board (the engineers) to help with docking the boat.  Hopefully that will be enough.

Kate cannot stop laughing when she looks at Jen or tries to give her instructions.  She just looks at her and starts cracking up.  It’s the crazy eyes!  And the squeaky voice.  She’s like a woodland creature and it’s too ridiculous to be true.  There’s also not a lot going on up there and it takes Jen over 7 minutes to make a cup of tea.

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Both stews are already taking issue with the way that Kate speaks to them.  What a bunch of babies!  You think this is bad, you ain’t seen nothing yet.  Kate has been positively demure and tame this entire charter… just wait until her temper boils over – then that little woodland creature is in trouble.

Nico pretty much tells Bruno that he’s the weakest link and he better start progressing soon or else.  Bruno thinks that this is a pretty harsh thing to say so early in the season but Nico just wants to see some small shred of improvement.

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Bruno is hyper sensitive and cries it out.  He’s upset that yachting is not like cruising and cries some more.  Man, these kids aren’t even one charter in and are already having breakdowns.  I’m already not seeing Bruno surviving the whole season if he’s already crying and it’s over nothing.

Get Loo-loo-loo-loo-loose!

After the guests leave the crew heads out to hit the town and have some drinks.  Briana is hard core flirting with Nico – she’s reminding him of their one night together, she’s rubbing his arm, and she even asked him to watch for nip slips.

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Chris Brown is droning on and on about himself and his love for alcohol… as he has been doing all charter.  Kate is so over it and so bored that she says that she’d rather be cleaning toilets.

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Jen starts randomly making moaning noises and weird faces at Nico who is freaked the F out.  I guess Jen claims that she can come on demand and decides that the middle of dinner is the perfect time for such things.  Wtf is wrong with this chick?  Loony bin.

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The group heads out dancing and Nico has a talk with Bruno telling him to let loose and reset and there’s always tomorrow to do better.  Bruno is touched by this and says in his interview, “For me…. words are stronger than actions.”  Um, what?  That’s not how it goes Bruno!  Good thing he has a hot bod because this kid may just be even stupider than Jax Taylor.

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Chef Canada really comes out of his shell once he’s had a few drinks and starts dancing like a super freak.  He’s grinding on the girls and then just grinding into the air a la Magic Mike.

Chris Brown is trying way too hard to hit on Briana and she is not into it.  Even though she says otherwise Briana has her sights set on Nico (and who could blame her) so poor Chris Brown won’t be getting with this BriBri.

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The next morning Chris Brown is really feeling the effects of his decisions the night before and basically feels like crap.  He tells Nico that he needs some water but then disappears and can’t be reached via his radio.  Turns out Chris Brown was down in his cabin passed out and sleeping – tisk tisk.  Captain Lee gets involved and dun dun dunnnn….

Predictions

Next week Chris Brown is get his punishment which will hopefully be a plane ticket home.  Kate has a training course for her stews where she sets up a mock charter with her as the obnoxious guest.  I’m guessing her stews will fail this test.  The new guests look pretty obnoxious and a lot more high maintenanced than the guests this week.  And Kate must’ve finally reached her breaking point because when the guests notice the tension between her and Jen, Kate just calls out that Jen is terrible at her job.  Pretty ballsy thing to say in front of the guests and I can’t wait!

Episode 1     Below Deck Med

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