Real Housewives of Dallas

Real Housewives of Dallas Episode 4

By Invitation Only – Episode 4

This episode wasn’t as jam packed as previous ones, but for some reason it was still very entertaining.  I was disappointed that LeeAnne didn’t show up in any crazy costumes but she can’t carry the whole show people.  Also, there was just not enough LeeAnne in this episode period.  But it was still great and didn’t feel like boring filler…. ahem Orange County.

Episode 3     Episode 2     Episode 1

Get to Mopping Woman

Stephanie and Travis are visiting their newly purchased mansion with their designer to figure out how to fix this monstrosity.  The first thing Stephanie pleads with Travis to change is the pool.  Not only is it dangerous, but the floors will constantly be a mess.  Brute, blockhead Travis replies, “Well you’re good at mopping so…”  What an ass!  And then Wreck-it-Ralph jumps onto a pool float like a teenager on spring break – midlife crisis much? 

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Stephanie is willing to compromise because the house is close to the children’s schools…. and restaurants.  I mean priorities, right?  Travis wants to keep their bedroom windows ceiling to floor glass so they still have an “amazing view”.  What is this amazing view he speaks of?  There’s like a creek running through the backyard, a couple of trees, and then a road – amazing! 

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When Stephanie disagrees he says, “Well I make the money so.”  OMG!  This guy does know he’s on TV, right?  There’s a special place for him in Housewife husband hell along with Simon Barney, Jim Bellino, Jason Hoppy and of course the grossest of them all: Jim Marchese.

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D’Andra Channels Dee

D’Andra meets with LeeAnne and right away confronts her about her rude and inappropriate costume at Stephanie’s party.  D’Andra is really bringing the heat and telling it like it is! 

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LeeAnne thinks that Stephanie is using Kameran to social climb her way to the top.  But D’Andra doesn’t let her off so easy, “Cut the crap!”  LeeAnne sees where D’Andra’s coming from but still seems pretty proud of herself for being so ballsy.

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Girls night out! 

Kameran and Cary meet and have quite possibly the most pretentious, unrelatable conversation in Housewives’ history.  Kameran has a rain coat cover-up for her Birkin bag – puke!  Cary agrees, “always assist your Birkin before you assist yourself.”  I’m sure they think they’re being cute and funny but they’re not.  Lisa Vanderpump (maybe the richest of them all) is more relatable than this character out of Whoville.  But it gets worse when Kameran calls Brandi “simple” and says that Brandi is jealous of her because of where she lives in Dallas.  Omg I can’t with her – such a snob!

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Stephanie and Brandi are also out on the town and on their first official date since their makeup.  After downing some shots of tequila Brandi confesses to Stephanie that all the other girls were talking about her and calling her a social climber.  Stephanie maintains that she wanted to move to be closer to the schools…. and the restaurants.  Brandi does a wonderfully brilliant impersonation of Kameran – I mean it is really on point.  She’s got the crazy eyes down, the wonky voice that puts the emphasis on the wrong words, the condescending tone, the snotty attitude, and the constantly pouted out lips.  I loved it!  Brava!

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BFFs Prank Calling

Brandi comes over to tour Stephanie’s new house and see the tackiness in all its glory first hand.  Brandi reveals that she doesn’t let LeeAnne inside her house because she doesn’t trust her around the children.  Oh damn!  Yea sorry LeeAnne but Stephanie has had one foot out the door throughout your entire relationship.  And now that she has Stephanie back she can slam that door completely.  And the girls are indeed back to their old tricks and to prove it they decide to prank call someone.  Brandi calls using a hobbit/death creature voice but the caller doesn’t really respond.  These two still crack themselves up though which is a great way to live life.  Have fun you silly girls!

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Awky AF!

Cary throws a birthday party for her daughter full equipped with ponies and even a lemur.  Children’s birthday parties are usually my least favorite scenes on Housewives but thank God Stephanie stepped it up and made things interesting.  She hands presents to Cary and Stephanie while turning to Kameran empty handed – awkward. 

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Then she invites Cary and Stephanie only on a girl’s trip to Memphis but right in front on Kameran – cringy awkward.  But then to make things worse, Cary and Stephanie start jumping up and down while squealing with excitement – again all in front of Kameran.  So damn awkward!  Must look away! 

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There is nothing worse during an awkward moment then when someone points out that it’s awkward – which of course is exactly what Kameran does.  Stephanie just stares blankly back at her before she finally “jokes” about being a mean girl.  It really was pretty rude and if it had happened to anyone but Kameran I would feel bad – but she can afford to be knocked down a peg or two.

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Predictions

The group is starting to divide into two groups of three: Cary, Brandi, and Stephanie and LeeAnne, Kameran, and D’Andra.  Stephanie is going to have a hard time juggling her two friendships when the two friends hate each other.  It’s difficult to be in the middle and to always have to hang out with each friend one-on-one because they can’t be around the other friend.  And we’ve already seen Brandi spending plenty of quality one-on-one time with Stephanie this episode and none with LeeAnne.  But if I know one thing (and I’m sure Brandi knows it too), it’s that you don’t cross LeeAnne Locken and live to tell the tale.  Hide the sand paper!

Episode 3     Episode 2     Episode 1


 

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