You Got Sherv’d – Episode 7
This episode started off dull af (I mean MJ looking at cabinet knobs, really Bravo, really?!!) but then got turnt at the end with finally some juicy drama. It’s been quite some time since we’ve had a good cheating scandal and everyone else has been super boring with all the baby talk.
WTF Is This Wonky Club?
The group is back on American soil and decides to celebrate with a night out on the town. Mike says that he’s ready to get back out there and start dating again – and what better place to start than a club. He is per usual being a super creep and saying the most bizarre things to random girls.
But then suddenly he does a 180 and starts looking at them like trash while describing the type of woman he wants. As he runs down the list of qualities he wants, Bravo editors cut to Jessica checking off every box on the list. So, you already had that Mike and couldn’t keep it in your pants.
What is Super Happening?
There is literally an entire scene devoted to MJ trying (and failing) to pick out cabinet fixtures. Is this really happening? Why am I watching this garbage? Pick a handle MJ and stop living in that squalor of a condo.
Dry Hookah Bar
Reza is about to meet with the guys for some hookah and dinner. Two very shocking things happen to him before the other guys even arrive: he finds out that the restaurant doesn’t serve alcohol (gasp!) and MJ calls and tell him that Shervin has been sleeping with Tara for 5 months behind his girlfriend’s back.
Omg poor Reza’s brain is going to explode! I can’t believe Shervin is as bad as nasty ass Mike but it must be true if the mistress’s husband kicked her out. She has nothing to lose now that the secret’s out. Mike arrives and brings a bottle of booze (whew, that was close) and Shervin and Tommy show up too.
Reza is eying Shervin down when he starts talking about his girlfriend and how her loves her. He even talks about her moving to be with him – all with Reza giving him shady looks and shaking his head in shame.
Baby Fever Delusion
Gigi goes shopping for baby clothes for Asa and the store is giving her baby fever. Gross! If anything, being around baby stuff would make me not want any babies even more. Shervin joins her and can’t hold back the eye rolls when Gigi starts discussing having a baby with the dude she’s known for 2 months. He is shocked that not only did she tattoo this guy’s name on her body but she also has stopped taking her RA medicine in order to get pregnant. She really is a train wreck.
Gigi also tells Shervin that MJ is spreading rumors about him and Tara. Shervin completely denies messing around with Tara and can’t believe that MJ would spread such gossip – I mean it is MJ.
So Shervin meets with MJ to clear the air and plead his case. He again denies denies denies and I want to believe him but what motivation does Tara have to make this up? Does she just want attention in order to get on the show? Doesn’t seem like she’d ruin her marriage just for that but you never know – bitches be crazy as Reza would say.
That is apparently Shervin’s defense too because he starts calling her a schitzo, 51/50, total nut job who just made all of this up. MJ smiles and tells him what he wants to hear but she ain’t believing a damn word out of his mouth.
What’s With The Roller Rinks?
Gigi has an 80’s themed birthday party at a skating rink – very Southern Charm when Landon threw a party for Shep that crashed and burned. Gigi was smart though (unlike Landon) and brought her own alcohol to stock the bar – Landon had a dry party for Shep, it’s Shep! Everyone arrives looking equally ridiculous in their 80s outfits but especially Shervin. When he arrives, Tara gets super nervous and runs around trying to avoid him. It is super awkward and uncomfortable to watch – seriously you could cut the tension. So now I’m thinking this shit went down for sure!
The group confronts Tara and she sticks to her story – Yes, it all happened and we even had a sit down with Gigi to discuss a game plan on how to cover it up. If you have a big secret, why would you tell Gigi, why?!! She starts off the night being super loyal to Shervin saying that she’ll have his back and keep her mouth shut. After a few drinks, she’s ready to spill the beans to anyone that will listen – which is basically everyone but Asa who gives zero Fs.
Shervin gets involved and him and Tara go back and forth yelling and calling each other liars. It doesn’t look like we’re going to get anywhere.
But then Reza asks Gigi if Shervin did admit everything to her and she replies, “Yes.” Oh damn! But Shervin is still denying any wrongdoing or ever having this conversation with Gigi. She is begging him to just own up to it and tell the truth and everyone will respect him for it.
But Shervin refuses – he insists that he is already telling the truth but if that’s not good enough he’ll just tell everyone what they want to hear to shut them up. He says, “Yeah, what she says I did, I did. I did it 2, 4, 6 times.”
And that’s all we get until next week. There will also be more Asa baby controversy disagreements – did she get invitro or did she conceive her “miracle baby” naturally? But more importantly why the F does MJ care?!!! Oh, because she’s a jealous, spiteful, B-I as Ramona Singer would say. Hopefully Asa will stand up for herself and tell MJ to stfu put that never seems to work anyway.
What did you think of this week’s episode? Has Shervin been hooking up with Tara all this time or is she really a crazy biotch trying to get camera time? Who will get pregnant first, Gigi or MJ?
Let me know in the comments below!