Real Housewives of Dallas

Real Housewives of Dallas Episode 2 Recap

Haute Dogs of Dallas – Episode 2

Whatever Bravo producer discovered LeeAnne Locken needs a huge raise – huge!  And in turn, whoever it was who decided that bringing Lydia back on Orange County was a good idea needs to be fired!  This episode was gold gold gold! What an improvement from last year – great job ladies.

Episode 1

He Wants Me to Be Independent, But Only When It’s Convenient For Him

Stephanie is so emotionally overrun that she has started going to therapy with some sweet, quiet talking lady who says things like “Yeah.  Wow.  You are strong.”  Stephanie reveals that the family will be moving closer to Dallas because right now she drives 2 hours to take the kids to school.  And she’s excited about it because out of three houses that they purchased, she has never been involved in the decision making.  Uh what?  So, your husband just goes around buying the houses that you are going to be living in without consulting you.  That is legit cray.

The conversation turns to Brandi and Stephanie immediately losing it and starts sobbing.  It really was heartbreaking to watch, especially when she said tearfully, “I was supposed to be like a sister and she threw me away like trash!”  The “therapist”, who I’m not convinced is licensed has amazing advice, “Wow.”

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Why Can’t We All Just Be Friends?

Brandi and Cary meet and Brandi admits that she’s been jealous that Stephanie and Cary have gotten so close.  She seems particularly upset about Cary calling Brandi her “ride or die” in a tweet and feels like she’s been replaced.  Uh, you’re the one who iced Stephanie out and then replaced her with LeeAnne.  What was Stephanie supposed to do, not have any girlfriends?  Brandi has a plan to turn Cary against Stephanie and shows Cary the texts that Stephanie sent about the “LeeAnne’s back to her old tricks” comment. 

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Cary denies ever saying such things and then starts crying to make it really believable.  So, Brandi has the receipts on Stephanie but poor Stephanie didn’t get any receipts on Cary – and it looks like the whole interaction happened off camera or I’m sure we would’ve seen it by now.  But seriously Cary, why are you crying?  Pull it together drama queen, “I just want to be friends with everyone.”  Gag me.

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Filler

There’s a brief scene with our newest Housewife mother, Dee, who scares the crap out of me in the best way.  She is so intimidating and horrifying yet I still want her to boss me around and teach me her ways.  I think this is how D’Andra feels too – her voice practically quivers when she talks to her – her own mother!

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Even More Filler

I’m a little bored/annoyed with Kameran – she’s just not doing it for me.  No one cares about your boring rich mom life and your overly produced storyline about pink dog food is ridiculous in a bad way.  Also, it is just me or does Kameran look like one of the Whos from Whoville?

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Style Awards

So, does Cary know her husband is gay or is she in denial?  I can’t tell if she’s in on it or not.  I mean maybe he is just super metro, obsessed with clothes, and prefers that his wife drives the sports car.  I mean he was even super picky about the undergarment that would be put on his “models” – they’re mannequins!  Ohhhhh wait – Cary explains that Mark is European.  Why didn’t you say so in the first place?  Ok never mind all that crap I said before.

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Cary confronts Stephanie and asks her about the texts to Brandi.  Stephanie is in complete shock at first and can’t believe that Brandi would throw her under the bus like that but does admit to texting her. 

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We finally get a clip of the scene in question: Cary tells Stephanie that she spoke to LeeAnne about them but she thinks they should give LeeAnne the benefit of the doubt because she says she’s changed.  Sorry Stephanie, I didn’t hear anything about tricks in there – but I also don’t blame you for trying to keep Brandi away from LeeAnne.

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Bring Out The Star!

Speaking of LeeAnne, we are now a good 45 minutes into the episode and we have not seen an appearance from LeeAnne. They are saving the best for last and building up the suspense.  I am here for it and on the edge of my seat in anticipation!

Well, it was worth the wait because when we finally see LeeAnne she is dressed up as a giant hot dog!  The event is a dog costume contest and no one else there is dressed up but LeeAnne, of course, needs to make a statement.  She is so extra and so genius!

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The ladies are all sitting at a table and decide to hash things out.  This is how you do it!  I’m looking at you Orange County – even if you’re uncomfortable and despise your other castmates, you have to tackle the issues head on.  Bravo isn’t paying you all that dough to constantly avoid each other.

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Of course, LeeAnne begins the confrontation, “Let’s start with the texts.”  Stephanie tells LeeAnne that she’s afraid of her (uh duh) and that she thinks LeeAnne manipulates people (duh again). 

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LeeAnne is outraged by this and it cuts to her talking heads scene and she is still wearing the hot dog costume!  OMG casting gold!  She is giving me life! 

Stephanie apologizes to LeeAnne but says she was just watching out for Brandi, the only person at the table she actually gives a shit about.   Stephanie has a great line during her talking heads, “She’s dressed as a wiener but she’s acting like a dick.”  Epic.

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Stephanie turns her attention to Brandi and how it’s been such a terrible time for them both.  They are both silent crying but still not really saying much to each other but then Brandi softly whispers, “We’ll talk.”

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Predictions

And next week Brandi and Stephanie will finally sit down (without LeeAnne) and hopefully talk it out!  Fix it Jesus!  But not even Jesus can fix Stephanie and LeeAnne’s relationship – not like they ever really had one.  Stephanie hosts a Halloween party and LeeAnne comes dressed up at “the two-faced woman” but is going around telling everyone she’s dressed as Stephanie.  Stephanie’s husband gets word of this and threatens to throw LeeAnne out of the party!  Oooooh daaaaamn!  I hope he does throw her out so that it will ignite this feud even more but unfortunately Stephanie prob won’t allow that to happen – she’s too nice.

What did you think of this week’s episode?  Are you as obsessed with LeeAnne as I am?  Was this one of the top moments in Housewive’s history – a wife dresses as a giant wiener will having a fight? 

Let me know in the comments below!  I’m gonna go watch again and again!

Episode 1


 

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