Real Housewives of Orange County

Real Housewives of OC Episode 3 Recap

The Not So Quiet Woman

Finally some drama and it comes in the form of one Kelly Dodd. You may be like Shannon and hate her but you have to admit that this episode would’ve been a total snooze fest without her crazy antics. And man, the people of Twitter really do hate her. And I get it, she goes low, low below the belt low – like crap between your toes low. But we were all waiting on the edges of our seats for Kelly to make an appearance and Shannon to throw a plate – which is why she still has a job.

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“I’m Done!”

The episode picks back up to Shannon and Lydia arguing before Shannon storms off to her limo. David cautiously approaches to comfort Shannon who is screeching “I’m done! I’m fucking done!” Shannon needs to readjust her meds or something. This reaction is so extra and over the top for the situation. “Take a Xanax! Calm doooown!”

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Size Matters

Peggy and her husband Diko go to the doctor for a post-surgery checkup. The two men are discussing what size they think Peggy should get for her implants while she sits there silently. Like they’re your tits girl! What size do you want?

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Grow Some Balls!

Over at the office of Nobleman Magazine Lydia and her husband are hard at work to get this week’s edition to the press. Who the fuck reads magazines anymore…. let along luxury magazines? Is this really how they make a living???!!! How much money could this possibly be bringing in? Lydia wants her hubby to man up like her dad when it comes to business and grow some balls. Jeez, harsh Lydia! He does seem kind of wimpy and like a push over but I bet she’s regretting saying that on TV.

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Jesus Jugs 2.0

Tamra has nothing interesting going on in her life and is now forced to film with a guinea pig. Fascinating stuff. But then she compares herself to Rodney King??? Um what?

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Jim’s There and He Don’t Care

Meghan gets her obligatory one scene per episode to show off Jimmy being a good dad but a terrible husband. Jimmy is about to go out of town for work per usual and Meghan asks him if he’s upset to leave. He replies with a hard and fast “No.” He doesn’t even try to hide his disdain for her and its amazing! Meanwhile she’s babbling on and on about the baby seeing ghosts while he’s sitting there rolling his eyes in disgust.

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Fat Shaming Dr.

Shannon pays a visit to her trainer/healer dude Dr. Tim and weighs in at a shocking 172lbs. How fucking brave is she to be showing this on TV???? No amount of money could convince me to step on a scale while there’s a camera in my face. This is really affecting Shannon in a negative way and it’s very sad to watch, but it’s relatable to so many people.

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Then she takes it a step further and removes her shirt – on camera! And I’m sure Dr. Tim’s commentary is def not helping with Shannon’s self-confidence, “Ok Wow. WOW! Ok wow!” Damn doc… have some chill!

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Shannon is afraid to tell David because she thinks he’ll be done – omg so heartbreaking! She is so embarrassed and her self-confidence is so low and it’s really going to start affecting her marriage, if it hasn’t already.

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Cookie Car

Peggy picks up Lydia in a half white, half black Ferrari… the thing looks like a black and white cookie. Lydia wants Peggy to meet her “friend” Kelly, who she only met 1 day before, and decides to facetime Kelly right then and there to introduce Peggy – who is trying to drive.

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The Psychotic Woman

Peggy and Lydia meet Shannon and Tamra for dinner at The Quiet Woman – a regular hotspot amongst the OC Housewives. Peggy and Shannon immediately clash about Shannon taking 6 years to build a non-toxic, crystal fill home. Peggy is just saying that she could never handle all of that work and Shannon gets super defensive and abrasive per usual.

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Lydia and Shannon “clear the air” about their face off at Tamra’s party and then Shannon tells them all about her weight issues. For someone who’s so embarrassed by it, she sure does bring it up a lot. She again blames the weight gain on the abusive husband rumors saying “there were rumors going around that my husband beat the shit out of me.” Geez Shannon! Nice to meet you too. Peggy says that getting beat by your husband is a joke in her family and everyone is like uhhh huh?

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Shannon is waving her arms all around to demonstrate her “expressive” personality and Peggy rushes to save her glass of wine. A girl after my own heart! At least someone on this show has their priorities straight.

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Lydia invites Shannon to a party but warns her that Kelly and Vicki will be there. So she can warn her about that but doesn’t think to mention that Kelly might be crashing tonight….. And indeed, next enters Kelly Dodd – sans lipstick, messy ass greasy hair, and already loaded.

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Lydia and Kelly team up and trap Shannon in the bathroom where she is obviously shocked to see Kelly. Shannon immediately tells Kelly about her weight gain and struggles. Why Shannon why??!!!! Why would you give your enemy ammunition to use against you?!

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They start bickering because Kelly doesn’t understand why Shannon was so shocked to see her when she knows that this place is “my jam.” Lydia annoyingly keeps repeating “Let’s hug it out” while trying to push them together. You caused this Lydia! Let them talk and stfu!

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Kelly goes and sits with Tamra while Lydia and Shannon pray in the bathroom. Kelly is pretty wasted and even admits that she loves to push Shannon’s buttons and damn does she do it well. Shannon comes back and tells Kelly that she wants her to leave which Kelly abides by, but not before throwing in “Maybe you need hormones to help you with your body.” Shannon sits in shock for a few moments before promptly telling Kelly to read between the lines and then just straight up flicks her off while cursing her out.

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And then it gets really dark. Kelly tells Shannon to keep eating (yikes!) and Shannon throws the plate that’s in front of her while exclaiming “It’s not my plate!” At this point the manager has run over to presumably kick them out, the entire place is eyeing them down, and Shannon is still tearfully explaining, “It’s not my plate.”

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As much as I love a good Shannon break down, this was a little hard to watch. Kelly says things so low down and dirty – things we’ve never seen on Housewives before. Calling someone a “prostitution whore” is better than telling an unconfident person struggling with weight issues to “keep eating.” And Shannon is emotional unhinged and unstable… like in a serious way, not the normal Housewives way.

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Everyone leaves the restaurant humiliated, except for Kelly who laughs live a crazed Disney villain as Shannon walks past her. It was chilling! And then while Peggy and Lydia are having this serious discussion outside, Kelly is in the glass door making faces and puffing on the glass like a 3 year old! This bitch is legit crazy but it was hilarious!

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Predictions

The preview did not leave much to be desired…. Ryan cries, Kelly gets vag rejuvenation^& (ugh why??!!!), and Shannon teaches her daughter how to drive. Wow… really on the edge of my seat. It must be one of those hated filler episodes but so soon? Unless there’s something big that happens and they’re just not showing us. But why? I’m hoping that we see Vicki and Peggy meet and I’m thinking that Vicki will be fast about getting Peggy on her side. Shannon and Peggy didn’t seem to get along great tonight and I don’t see it getting much better. If Vicki can land Peggy then the numbers will be in her corner this year for the first time in quite a while.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Who is crazier Shannon or Kelly? Are you excited to watch Jim ignore Meghan next week? Will Dr. Tim ever get a female client again after his many “Wows” tonight?

Let me know in the comments below!

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