Oil and Vinegar
I love New York! New York has to be the best housewives franchise and we really needed this episode after the boring premier of Orange County. Even when nothing actually happens on New York, it is still so damn entertaining! Even Tinsley stepped up her game tonight!
Blame It On The Alcohol
Ramona and Luann meet to talk about Bethenny – meanwhile, Bethenny and Carole meet to talk about Ramona. Lu and Ramona are at some sort of “coffee shop”. I don’t know if you can even call it that. It’s this big open space with no tables or chairs – just lots of products. And they’re just kind of standing there awkwardly.
Speaking of products – Bethenny and Carole are at the Skinny Girl office that is just dripping in popcorn and lunch meats. Bethenny wants a clean break from Ramona and is trying to figure out how to tell someone that they’re invited…. but only for part of it. Awky! Meanwhile, Luann’s advice is for Ramona to attribute her horrifying behavior on the booze. I think Ramona is getting to an age where she can’t make regrettable choices and then blame it on the al-al-al-al-al-alcohol.
Sonja’s Annual Vag Scene
Always one to try to shock and awe us with her va-jay-jay procedures Sonja is getting laser hair removal downtown. Somehow she knows the condition of both Tinsley’s and Luann’s vag situation. And supposedly has been clueless about this new fad this whole time – I guess Tom was supposed to tell her. She needs to stop. This is starting to get really sad Sonja – stop bringing him up for any reason, especially this one! It’s not like he’s the one and only guy you’ve been porking in the last 10 years. And wtf is up with that creepy “doctor” – just standing there overseeing everything the whole time.
Girls Night at the Steakhouse
Dorinda organizes a girl’s dinner at some trendy steakhouse – because nothing says “ladies night out” like a big ole slab of meat. Tinsley really thinks that this is Gossip Girl and she is Blair Waldorf with her little girl dresses and bows – prep school has been over for quite some time sweetie.
Dorinda is actually trying to bribe Tinsley to cut her hair and thinks that the long locks are aging her. Haven’t you ever seen a rom-com Tinsley? How do you expect to change what’s inside if you don’t change what’s outside first? But seriously – lob girl, lob.
Tinsley is planning on moving into a hotel – again very Gossip Girl a la Chuck Bass. Apparently Sonja had no idea about this – wtf was Tinsley gonna do? Leave in the middle of the night? She really is that afraid on confrontation.
Luann leads the charge and gets the whole group talking all things Mexico. Ramona is sitting there awkwardly still not knowing if she’s officially invited and Bethenny is whispering out of the corner of her mouth for Luann to stfu.
Bethenny and Ramona have a talk – or at least try to until Ramona enters full demon mode. She is lit af and some of the faces she was making will haunt my nightmares for weeks to come.
Ramona starts comparing their marriages for some reason “I was married for 30 years Bethenny – you could only hack it for 2! I feel like my whole body was ripped apart – there goes an arm, there goes a leg. Oh wait, that was Aviva. Anyway, have some respect for me Bethenny! Have some respect! Have some respect for me Bethenny. I know I’m only like one or two years older than you but have some respect!”
Ramona’s chest is breaking out in hives like Alex McCord! Bethenny has a dead look on her face – nothing shocks her anymore with Ramona. She very calmly says that she doesn’t want Ramona to come on the trip. Ramona basically responds with “tough shit – it’s a group trip and I’m going.” which is basically code for “production already booked my trip and I’m under contract to go on all group trips.”
Sonja tries to play peacemaker and doesn’t want Bethenny to “obliterate” Ramona like in Game of Thrones. Bethenny has barely been able to say 2 words! She’s been sitting there silently while Ramona goes off on a wild tangent. So they make a pact to not say nasty things about each other and let’s face it Bethenny doesn’t really have a choice.
What Can I Say? I Love My Wine
I think this is our first ever gym scene on New York and of course it has to be Ramona in the yoga pants. This is not Orange County people! The reason New York is the best is because there’s no scenes with gyms, prayer circles, and children. Ramona doesn’t even want to be there but forces herself because she goes out to dinner 7 nights a week and also enjoys 4-5 glass of wine every night. So you mean a bottle Ramona? After 5 glasses of pinot you’ve drank at least a bottle – maybe I’m an over pourer. She’d rather give up dessert than wine – I mean duh! I’m pretty sure anyone who drinks would agree with that statement. I love my pinot but even I need a break after 7 nights in a row – and Ramona is almost 60! What a trooper. No wonder she went out of business – she was drinking all of the product.
Getting Drunk Helps Me Be Myself!
God I hate watching first dates on reality TV – so cringy! I get second hand embarrassment every time and Tinsley’s drunken double date with Adam and Carole was no exception. Tinsley’s gentleman is a larger man that everyone else kept describing as cute. I mean I guess compared to Tom and Harry this guy was decent looking – at least he’s age appropriate.
He has some sort of tech company and prefers pools to surfing which makes them a perfect match in Tinsley’s mind. “Omg I am such a pool girl! I just love sitting around the pool with a cocktail in my hand! So this is perfect!” Um, who doesn’t like doing that? She starts talking a lot about her ex-husband and even shows her date the wedding band that she is still wearing on her pinkie! She is so stuck in the past!
The drinks keep flowing and Tinsley’s face keeps getting more and more red. She admits that she doesn’t like alcohol for the taste, just the after effects. That’s probably true for a lot of people – no one likes throat burning shots but they take them when there’s a bigger goal to obtain: drunkenness. She explains that she feels like her true personality comes out when she’s drinking.
Several drinks later, Tinsley moves over to sit with her man who coerces her to take off that old ring.
They are side hugging and it looks so fucking weird – but then Tinsley just grabs him and starts…. Carole and Adam are in total shock and just cracking up at these two drunkards.
Dorinda Has Major Packing Issues
Everyone is getting ready for Mexico and Dorinda is packing while on the phone with Ramona. All of the sudden she just yells out “OMG I almost forgot to pack bathing suits!” I think forgetting bathing suits is the least of your worries – just be happy if you even remember your bag. There’s no point packing bathing suits if you’re just going to leave your suitcases on your stoop anyway. I don’t think you can get an Uber form New York to Mexico.
Next week looks lit af! New York always has the best trips! Scary Island, pirate gate, “Just be cool… don’t be like all uncool.” These ladies really love to let loose and party when they are on vacation. I can’t wait to see Sonja drinking margaritas directly from the pitcher! Or Luann fall flat on her face while Ramona just watches and criticizes. I thought I saw Ramona in the tequila factory scene when they are all doing cheers so maybe she and Bethenny have another talk that goes better than tonight’s did.
What did you think of this week’s episode? Should Bethenny have invited Ramona or kicked her to the curb with Dorinda’s luggage? Is Tinsley bordering an alcohol problem or is she just letting loose?
Let me know in the comments below!