Real Housewive's of New York

Real Housewives of New York Episode 13 Recap

A Bronx Tale

This episode was lit af right off the bat and I did not see it coming! Carole said it best about Dorinda, “When she’s bad, it’s soooo good!”

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Running themes of the episode: Ramona is acting like a spoiled brat at every turn – she wants Aspen, not Vermont, wine but not Skinny Girl brand, mountain water not Evian, and as usual is acting completely crazy about getting the best room. Sonja cannot let go of the past – she’s still upset about last year’s Berkshires trip and still running her mouth about Tom. Luann is of course, still talking about the wedding – she even thinks she deserves a better room because she just got married. Tinsley is super emo and crying all the time because of “what happened to her.” It didn’t happen to you – you did it to yourself. And Dorinda is the true American treasure that we all needed!

Episode 12   Episode 11   Episode 10   Dorinda Breakdowns

Clip, Clip, CLIP!!!

Bethenny takes the ladies to a little Italian restaurant in the Bronx and it is clear that most of them are out of their element – especially Tinsley. Dorinda however feels right at home and has a hangover to match. What better way to cure a hangover than to start drinking again? Hey it worked for Shep on the Southern Charm finale. The wine is flowing at this lunch – I gotta say, it is pretty early for wine! But we all know how Dorinda loves to nap so maybe she’ll sleep it off and start all over again for dinner.

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They start talking about Ramona and how she had originally wanted in on the “Tipsy Girl” deal. Then Sonja throws Dorinda under the bus and says that she had texts from John and the “Tipsy Girl” guy saying that Dorinda was all in with the deal. Dorinda totally loses her shit.

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She starts screaming incoherent nonsense at Sonja and it’s fucking great. Dorinda is a straight up gangster! All the other ladies can’t do anything but crack up laughing – it’s comedy gold! Dorinda decides to try out a new catch phrase “Clip, clip, CLIP!!!” complete with hand motions. It’s not really clear what this “clip” means, but I’m thinking it’s along the lines of shut your mouth or clip it closed.

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But it’s not over… she gets up, yells “Hostess with the mostest!” and does some gesture pointing to her who-ha. Again, not entirely sure what that meant, but hilarious all the same.

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Dorinda is a true American treasure! And the best part is, after she gets all of her screaming out she’s totally fine! She sits back down and eats her lunch like nothing ever happened.

Ladies Lunch

Luann, Ramona, and Sonja meet up for a more civilized lunch and Luann tells Ramona about their upcoming ski trip to Vermont. Ramona wants to go to Aspen – that’s the only place she skis. God she is such a pill.

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Sonja brings up their “new friend” Dorinda which Luann refutes by saying that she’s known her for 10 years. Sonja attempts humor, “Well yea you know her 10 years but you don’t know her, know her. It’s not like you slept with the same guy! I mean how can you say that you’re close friends with someone if you haven’t slept with the same guy? I mean, look how good of friends you and me are! All because we’ve slept with the same guy! And that guy is Tom, FYI. Tom, your husband. Have I mentioned we used to be lovers?”

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Give it a rest Sonja! Luann shuts it down and demands an apology – when she doesn’t get one, she pulls a Bethenny and storms off.

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Is Dorinda Still Hungover?

The trip to Vermont starts peacefully as Bethenny, Carole, and Dorinda lounge around in comfy clothes. Bethenny shows the girls apology texts she received from Ramona. But Bethenny is still over the whole thing – she doesn’t want to be friends with her at all. Dorinda goes to grab her luggage from the car to claim a room and realizes that she forgot all of her stuff in New York.

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How the heck do you forget all of your stuff? She is a hot mess. She did remember to pack one essential item in her purse though: a mini disco ball! Like seriously, Dorinda wtf?

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Ramona and Her Damn Rooms

Ramona, Tinsley, and Sonja arrive in a fury of high pitched yelling and gross entitlement. Ramona wants wine but not Skinny Girl brand wine – the line has been drawn.

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Then per usual Sonja and Ramona run around making a big stink over the rooms. There have been times when this little run around has been cute and funny… but the shticks getting a little old ladies… just like you.

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And then Ramona starts bossing Sonja around to get her water. There’s no fancy bottled water in the house so Sonja just fills up a jug with tap and tells her it’s Evian. But Ramona doesn’t want Evian, she wants the mountain water from the tap. So Sonja has to pretend to go get the mountain water even though she already has it in her hand. It was pretty hilarious on Sonja’s part – but God Ramona, get your own damn water you snooty bitch.

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Can We Just Get Through One Meal in Peace?

At dinner Luann is upset that no one bothered to save her a nice room considering she just got married and all. Um what? What kind of logic is that? What does getting married have to do with people saving you a room? You didn’t even invite any of them to the wedding!

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Sonja is talking about Tinsley in front of her like she’s not even there. Tinsley has obvi been hitting the wine and her face just keeps getting more and more red. Tinsley finally has a breakdown about trying to be independent and wanting a husband and a child. She calls Carole out for some reason – “Well you didn’t want a child but I do.” Carole just looks at her like “wtf you don’t know my life.”

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Tinsley is completely losing it! “It’s not that easy to get over it!” She says that the whole situation with her ex is the hardest thing she’s ever had to go through. If that’s the worst that’s happened to you at 41, I’d say you’ve lived a pretty charmed life.

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The girls are kind of giving her shit, like we’ve all been there. Bethenny is like “hello, I’m going through this crap right now.” But poor Tinsley, her situation was made public and Bethenny’s wasn’t. The look on Bethenny’s face when Tinsley says this…. She is trying so hard to hold in her rage. Like are you serious Tinsley? Are you seriously that self-centered? Open a newspaper, read a magazine, do you have the internet? Everything Bethenny does is insanely public! Her response is great, “Google me”.

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Predictions

This was a great episode and hopefully the hits keep coming with part 2 of Vermont next week and Mexico soon to come. It looks like Dorinda and Luann get into it next week! I think Dorinda has finally reached her limit of being the only supportive friend and I’m ready for some dragging! We didn’t see a sit down between Ramona and Bethenny so she’s obviously still not ready for that but something has to happen soon. (Or we may not get Ramona back next season – do not piss off Bethenny!)
What did you think of this week’s episode? Did drunk Dorinda deliver??? Is Tinsley being a drama queen or does she really have major PTSD? Why is Ramona so entitled? We’ll never know the answer to that one.
Let me know in the comments below!

Episode 12   Episode 11   Episode 10   Dorinda Breakdowns

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