Boys Gone Wild
Things are finally picking up on this season of Southern Charm. This episode had some love triangle drama – way to take a page out of Below Deck’s book. Although, it’s not so much a love triangle – it’s more of Shep trying to force a love triangle onto an already established couple. I think this is just the beginning of bro code drama and I am here for it!
What About Roam?
Landon and her father get together to go look at his new beautiful property on the water. I get the sense that he is just as annoyed with her as the rest of us are. I mean the faces this man was making in the car! He was trying so hard not to roll his eyes!
Her dad makes Landon a great job offer to work for him – basically all she would have to do would be keep an eye out on his land while he’s gone and oversee the construction and development. The commission would be a couple hundred thousand dollars!!! Take the money Landon! Can I send you my resume sir? Landon is torn and doesn’t want to give up on her dreams. “Well, I’ve never done anything on my own before and I just really want to do something on my own. How will people know if a restaurant is Roam-worthy if I don’t eat there first, write off the bill, and then tell the masses my unsolicited, non-professional opinion?” I think we can all relate to that but damn Landon, you’re not 25 anymore – time to start being a little more realistic. Work for your dad and then do your website on the side as a passion project – like the rest of us!
Austen goes to visit Chelsea and they talk about her meeting his parents… whoa serious! Two seconds later she flips the script and tells him about Shep pulling her outside and trying to kiss her while Austen was inside. What is this Below Deck Med? She says that Shep “grabbed” her. That part seems uncharacteristic of Shepy – but the rest sounds on point. She explains that Shep was pretty much trash talking their relationship and putting insecurities into her head about Landon and Austen. When she asks Austen about Landon he becomes a stuttering mess, “Uh… uh… uh… no.” Wow convincing. Seriously though, why is he being so weird about it?
The guys go out to get drinks – it’s Shep, Whitney, Craig, Austen, and some random hottie. When Austen confronts Shep about trying to kiss Chelsea, Shep’s defense is that he was testing her. Omg who asked you to do that Shep? This isn’t Cheaters!
Craig is more than happy to jump in on this one – finally a chance to take Shep down a notch. Don’t you have a pillow to embroider Craig? Shep says that neither of them have ever said that they were actually dating – which is true. But come on Shep, you knew they were on that path. His last defense is that Austen stole her first, which is a valid point.
Austen fires back by telling the group what Shep had said about him not having enough money for her. Shep does not remember saying this and I don’t think he’s pulling a housewives’ move here – he just drinks too much. But then we roll the tape – oooh ouch. This is not a good look for you Shep. Reeks of entitlement. Nothing gets resolved because Shep pulls a Bethenny Frankel and high tails it out of there.
Kathryn and Thomas meet up to have a photo shoot for little Kensie. Everything seems to be going swimmingly – Kensie is adorable and sweet and everyone is getting along.
Until they go to leave and Kensie starts crying and runs over to Kathryn’s car.
Omg omg omg – I’m not crying – you’re crying! I just don’t even want to talk about this – it’s too dark.
Therapy Round 2
Naomi and Craig head to round 2 of therapy – not to sound judgey but it seems pretty early on to be needing therapy. I’m also starting to think that the only reason Naomi is putting up with Craig is to keep being on the show. So they get into how Naomi told a joke at Craig’s expense in front of everyone at the Indian theme party. She’s doing what everyone else does – make fun of Craig for being “dumb” but for real as his girlfriend you should not be doing that. I don’t know if she’s trying to look cool in front of everyone else or if her resentment with Craig is finally boiling over, but yikes! She also told him that he’s “exhibiting loser behavior” because she comes home from 14 hour days to see his ass still in bed. Ok, now this would piss me off too. Unless he’s working an all-night shift in the ER or something. How annoying would it be to come home, super exhausted after working all day and see your significant other sleeping their life away. She basically tells him, “If you want to be a loser, fine. But not with me. I won’t be here for you to drag me down.” I don’t see this ending well unless Craig makes some serious changes.
Chelsea explains to Cam how Shep accosted her, and Cam is shocked… completely shocked! Like you encouraged this shit Cam! Why would Shep do something like this…. maybe because you told him too!
Why Shep Why?
Cameran meets with Shep and tries to give him the business about trying to force his tongue on Chelsea. “Sheeep, why Shep? You can’t do that Sheeep. I know I told you to go after her but God dumb-dumb, not like that. I am taking back my voodoo doll.” He says again that he was drunk and doesn’t remember. But then he goes on to describe Chelsea as a shiny lure that as a fish he couldn’t resist. I’ve never heard a more country comparison.
Next week we see Chelsea back tracking about her story of Shep “grabbing” her. She was probably trying to make herself sound better to Austen, like she didn’t just go outside willingly with Shep…but she did! Looks like the fun will get kicked up a notch when the gang heads to Key West for Cameran’s birthday. EVERYONE is included… Thomas, Kathryn, and Landon…. Drama! Cameran acts shocked to learn that Thomas and Landon went on a trip that was planned for Kathryn and Thomas. Why is she so shocked by this? I mean, I’ve already heard the story – pretty sure it was brought up at a reunion.
What did you think of this week’s episode? Was it too dark? Whose side are you on Shep or Austin?
Let me know in the comments below!