Don’t Cry Over Cut Onions
There was some catty girl/love triangle at the beginning of this episode but they we kind of trailed off into the usual guest/food/anchor drama. I was hoping for more of a fight between Chef what’s-his-face and Wes but they were both pretty chill about the whole Malia thing.
Wes is still talking to Bugs about how much he likes Malia, meanwhile she’s smacking lips with Chef what’s-his-face.
Malia has smeared red lipstick all over her face – it is so obvi what she had been doing! Lauren, Bobby, and Max are laughing and gossiping trying to figure out who Malia was kissing.
And when she hears this Malia gets pissed off but only at Lauren. Lauren wasn’t really being malicious at first until they started talking about it and she started acting a little bitchy and slut shaming Malia. Malia is not hearing it! She is pulling an Erika Jayne and not giving a fuck! She gets in Lauren’s face and finally we have a legit cat fight!
It is kind of uncool to hook up with two roommates but whatevs – Malia is young, hot, and single and drunk shit happens. But, I think she needs to understand that people are gonna be talking about it – that gossip is too juicy and scandalous! The next morning Chef what’s his- face, Adam and Malia have the most awkward group hug ever!
Bobby makes a rude comment asking, “Who’s next in line?” She doesn’t freak out on him and that was a lot ruder than what Lauren had been saying. Shut up Bobby – there is zero percent chance that you are the next in line.
Return Charter Guests
The charter guests are return customers from last season and they are total party people. Hannah has 20 bottles of vodka ready to go. There one food request is no onions and they make that very clear on the preference sheet.
They are also requesting to use the slide, which is every crew member’s worst nightmare as we know from previous seasons.
The guests are getting very sloppy at the end of the night – I mean 20 bottles of vodka down, what do you expect? One man walks out of his room with no pants or boxers on and his dick just legit hanging out for all to see. So fucking nasty!
Onions – Why? Why?! WHY?!!!
Chef what’s-his-face is putting onions on everyone’s plates regardless of preference. A plate gets sent back to the kitchen – twice!!! The chef is being a total tool about the whole thing. He is the one who is fucking up (like on purpose) and he’s taking it all out on Hannah.
He says that the reason these people hate onion is because they’re new money. Um, what???!!! Some people just don’t like onions dude! The guests are not sending the food back just to be dicks – he doesn’t like onions. Maybe he legit has an allergy to onions. After continuously screwing up the main guest’s meal Chef what’s-his-face gets super frustrated and calls Hannah a slut! Hannah!!! How dare you sir! Who the fuck do you think you are?
His defense when she confronts him is that he calls everything sluts when he’s pissed, even the herbs. WTF?! I’m sure he’s in the galley like “Fucking rosemary, you slut…. Damn this slutty basil…. Oregano you are the sluttiest of them all!” Give me a fucking break dude.
Ferry Freak Out
Lauren has been wanted to take on more responsibility and prove to Hannah that she can handle it. Hannah decides to give her a chance and says she’ll send her to the falls on her own to serve the guests. Lauren is so excited but after seeing what drunks the guests are she starts freaking out. Wow, way to prove yourself Lauren. Hannah has no choice but to send Bugs along also and you just know she’s thinking “better you than me sweetie.”
The food is ready to go and loaded onto the ferry per Hannah’s instructions while she is in town shopping for more booze. The ferry ends up getting delayed and the food is already sitting onboard potentially spoiling. The chef freaks out on Hannah for not letting him know that the ferry was delayed. She had no idea that the ferry was delayed dumbass!
Hannah is at her breaking point with Chef what’s-his-face and is about to pull a Hurricane Hannah on his ass! Captain Sandy finally witnesses the douche baggery of the chef. He served the guests onion soup! Onion fucking soup! What the hell is he thinking? He’s just being a total ass on purpose – this is def going to fuck up everyone’s tip. Hopefully Captain Sandy will be making it rain with plane tickets – it’s what Captain Lee would do. I’m ready for this chef to be fired just like Chef Leon and for the epic return of Chef Ben. Hey, a girl can dream.
What do you think of this week’s episode? Who will win over Malia in the Wes/Chef face-off? Will Lauren ever toughen up?
Let me know in the comments below!