Real Housewive's of New York

Real Housewives of New York Episode 9 Recap

 

Two Weeks Notice

This episode was all over the place – ups and downs, uppers and downers, martinis and pinot grigios.  The ladies confront Luann about Tom and then toast to her happiness, and then confront her again and then toast to her happiness, and then once more confront her and then toast to her happiness. Episode 8   Episode 7   Episode 6   Puke Moments   Dorinda Freaks Out

It’s About Tom

It starts back with Dorinda questioning Luann about Tom. Luann keeps calling their fights “lovers quarrels” which is so freaking strange. She says that she’s not going to be able to change a 49 year old man, and to me that sounds like she’s admitting she knows the shit he’s up to and doesn’t give an f. All of the girls gang up on Luann – the exact opposite thing they said they were going to do. I guess they think Dorinda didn’t do a good enough job giving Luann the business. Luann is so obviously in complete denial and her only response is “don’t you have anything better to do?” At that point I’d tell her to have at it, you tried girls – it’s Luann’s problem now.

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Ramona gets real emotional about her past relationship problems and how much it sucks being the last person to know that your partner is cheating. She says that she wish she would’ve known instead of everyone hiding it from her.

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Bethenny hits the nail on the head when she says that Luann is not in love with Tom, she’s in love with their lifestyle. Luann still thinks that they are all just jealous bitches and the girls finally accept that they’re not going to get through to her and that she’s good with shit how it is. So hopefully this is the last we hear of this….

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Puke Moment

Puke Moment – Ramona and Sonja are getting ready and there is a very loud audible fart noise. Sonja comes out of the bathroom and says, “Oh that was me, gassy.” Ewww!!!! It was bad enough a few weeks back to have to hear them talk about it, but to actually have to hear the noise of a Sonja fart!!! Wtf editors?! Why are you doing this to us?!

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The Campfire Girl

Carole starts a fire which almost burns the house down because the flume doesn’t work. There is smoke filling the room and no one notices until Dorinda comes storming in. She can’t believe that they lit a fire in a fireplace that doesn’t work. Well why would they think that it didn’t work Dorinda? Put up an out of order sign or something.

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Bethenny Break Down

Luann is giving Tinsley relationship advice – which is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. Who the fuck would take relationship advice from Luann? Luann says to go with your gut and heart and Bethenny tells her that’s how she ended up getting fucked over by Jason “psychopath” Hoppy. Luann also offers this tidbit of wisdom – there’s a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windshield, because you should be looking forward, not back. Well, I think a driving instructor might disagree Lu – seems like a good way to get rear ended.

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Bethenny is getting heating and basically says don’t go with your heart you dumbass, use your brain like a sane person. Right in the middle of this heating discussion, Sonja and Ramona literally come skipping into the room and chanting “good evening” all sing-songy. Sonja is making hilarious, sexy faces at the camera! Reality gold! The comedic timing on this show is revolutionary!

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Bethenny storms off into the other room to cry about this asshole who is torturing her. Luann goes to comfort her and Bethenny completely breaks down on her. She is crying and telling Luann that she’s making a big mistake.

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In the other room, Carole is explaining to the other girls what a complete psycho asshole Hoppy is and how he is harassing Bethenny and her new boyfriend. He calls her a bad mother and refers to her by her mom’s name, Bernadette – which we know is a touchy subject for her. What a complete tool bag! Get a life Hoppy you piece of shit! Bethenny is projecting her bad experience onto Luann. Lu is being supportive and sweet to Bethenny but nothing B said is going to get through to her.

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What is Ramona on?

Ramona is acting even more bizarre than usual. She super overactive and heightened – almost sort of jittery. She is going on and on about how wonderful the meal is – the succulent chicken. She freaks the fuck out over winning a chocolate Santa. She is literally jumping into the air and squealing about a fucking $10 chocolate Santa. She says Avery loooooves chocolate – um doesn’t everyone?

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She sneaks up on Bethenny and is legit sitting on the same chair with her. She very creepily starts whispering an apology of sorts in Bethenny’s ear. She says she wants to say sorry but doesn’t want to say sorry and be called the apologizer but she is sorry. Huh?

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She proclaims her love to all of the girls – except Tinsley. She specifically calls Tinsley out and is like, well you’re new so I don’t really love you that much yet. The girls are all concerned about Ramona’s erratic behavior and I’m seeing a Beverly Hills storyline coming on. She really does have to be on something other than pinot…. Adderall? Coke? Some sort of upper?

Battle of the O.G.s

Ramona is planning on talking to Bethenny again but she’s afraid. Why are you so scared of her Ramona? Oh yeah, because she’s basically in charge of your job and your future on this show. They sit down and Bethenny immediately calls out Ramona for making strange faces. Has she met Ramona? Crazy faces are the only kind of faces she has!

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Bethenny says that Ramona hasn’t been a good friend to her and this really makes Ramona freak the fuck out. She chants “Are you kidding me?!” about 30 times or so, all while making crazier and crazier facial expressions.

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Predictions

The fight between Bethenny and Ramona gets worse and it looks like it will be one for the ages. Will it be good enough to go down in Bravo history? Tinsley may finally move out of Sonja’s apartment and I think that’s wise. I’m still hoping for one big blow up fight before that happens though. Jill Zarin shows up which is exciting, but I don’t think much will happen there except her giving her unwarranted opinion on Bethenny’s situation. How will the Bethenny and Ramona fight go down and whose side are you on?  Are you excited for Jill next week?  Was the a Berkshires episode for the history books? Let me know in the comments below! Episode 8   Episode 7   Episode 6   Puke Moments   Dorinda Freaks Out

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