Real Housewive's of New York

Recap Real Houswives of New York Episode 3

The ladies of New York are hitting the Hamptons for the weekend and here are the highlights. Episode 1, Episode 2, Taglines

LuAnn is very excited about tacos, like they’re the next big thing. “They’re called tacos darling, aren’t they wonderful?” LuAnn’s voice is particularly raspy in this scene – she needs to lay off the Marlboro Reds. Dorinda shows the infamous pics of Sonja getting “doggie styled” by a stripper at LuAnn’s bridal shower. People have strippers at bridal showers?! That seems weird – I thought that was a bachelorette type thing. Dorinda expects this to embarrass Sonja and make her seem like a cray lady. We don’t need you fighting that fight Dorinda, Sonja already does enough on her own to make her seem cray. This incident was not one of them – for Sonja this was actually pretty tame. I don’t get the big whoop.

Sonja

In my “I almost threw up in my mouth” moment of the week – Bethenny and Carole are getting acupuncture. Ughhh!!! This was so fucking nasty! They were making weird noises and comparing it to sex. Then to make matters worse, Carole brings up her toe fungus to the doctor. OMG do you know that you’re on camera?!!! And then the icing on the puke cake: Bethenny decides to get cupping. The fucking camera keeps zooming into her nasty flesh boils – over and over again! Ahh! Bleh bleh!!! Why do they keep showing it?!!! So fucking disgusting!

cupping

Ramona thinks that all of Avery’s teenage friends like her. She’s having a Mean Girls moment – I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom. She shows Bethenny and Carole a pic of her and her daughter and when they don’t respond in the 1 second she gives them, she totally loses it. “Don’t you think we look beautiful? You’re supposed to say we look beautiful.” Damn Ramona, give them a beat to get the words out. Side note: Dorinda says she’s going to tell her daughter Hannah to start stripping if Trump wins – wtf? Why?

Ramona, out of nowhere, asks Bethenny if anyone has approached her 6 year old daughter about Benthenny’s past soft core porn career. Where the fuck did this come from? Bethenny responds “Yea, Dianne Sawyer came up to her on the playground to ask her about it.” This is so fucking ridiculous. Bethenny pretty much brushes it off and doesn’t give as much attention to the issue as Ramona thinks she should. So Ramona and LuAnn decide to start talking about Bethenny “secretly” while sitting right across from her.

LuAnn decides to jump in and start berating Bethenny. Bethenny says she doesn’t care about LuAnn’s opinion of her. LuAnn says that’s the problem – that she’s doesn’t care about any of them. Bethenny said she doesn’t give a fuck about your opinion about her, not that she doesn’t give a fuck about you in general – although tbh she prob doesn’t. After being called stupid, a witch, and wicked Bethenny has had enough and walks out of dinner.   LuAnn actually does make a good point when she brings up the Berkshire’s confrontation when Bethenny is screaming at LuAnn and calling her a slut. Someone screaming in your face that you’re a slut is def way worse that someone saying you’re wicked. I think Bethenny should’ve stayed and fought back – just for my selfish need for more entertainment.

ramona halloween

 

Sonja and Tinsley get to their Airbnb house where Sonja promptly starts humping the side of the bed. She is literally sexually assaulting the bed! This woman never ceases to amaze and entertain. She declares that the bed has been “tested” and she hops on and continues to hump away. Let’s hope that all of the bed’s occupants have also been tested.

Capture

Dorinda and new besties LuAnn and Ramona are out to lunch. Ramona pulls an “Erika Jayne” and sings “I give zero Fs, zero Fs.” Ehh not quite as catchy – and def not as sexy and Miss Jayne. Dorinda continues to shit talk Sonja – starting to sound like a broken record. “She’s got a hard on for me and now I’ve got one back.”

zero fs

Ramona’s dinner party starts and Dorinda is explaining to Carole that she has a “guy” that has investigated Sonja. WTF??? Her “guy” has a file on Sonja!  Seriously Dorinda, do you have mod connections?! She also said that she is stalking her prey and going in for the kill. Damn y’all! Don’t fuck with Dorinda! She is legit scary.

Dorinda

Next episode looks like when shit is gonna get good! I can’t wait for the Sonja/Dorinda confrontation and to finally hear the Holland Tunnel/vagina comparison in its full glory.

What did you think of the random Ramona attack?  What are you most excited about for next week?

Let me know it the comments below!

Episode 1, Episode 2, Taglines

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